procrasturbate

To waste time by playing with yourself in a hedonistic but ultimately pointless way.

"Some people think all I do is procrasturbate because I sit here telling myself I'm the only one who can be right and it makes me hard"

"I was going to watch a documentary on our planet to help inspire me for my thesis, but then I saw that skinflixxxx had a free ten minute preview so I ended up procrasturbating"

"That guy Kevin is such a procrasturbater, all he does is sit around playing sad classical music drinking gin whilst crying that nobody likes him"

by IAMTHECAKE June 17, 2013

procrasturbate

Putting off a task or chore in order to masturbate

John likes to procrasturbate because he has a sex addiction.

by CrayCrayJ January 11, 2022

procrasturbate

Putting off other things in order to masturbate.

She would often procrasturbate instead of getting her work done.

by DfwBigExec March 14, 2013

procrasturbate

to beat the meat nonstop over a specific interval of time, pause for a short while, then continue jerking violently, repeating the process as desired; although frequently time consuming, the on-off duty of manning the post often terminates in a forceful and messy yet satiating and pleasant explosion.

I usually follow the 5-minute on, 5-minute off rule for about an hour during my procrasturbation session, at the end of which I acquire the power of vertically projectile cumshots.

My girlfriend likes to help me procrasturbate after class. After about 45 minutes of this technique, I can always makes her flinch when I blow my rocks' load on her face, or even her chest!

by theking07 January 21, 2010

procrasturbate

To delay a task, simply for the pleasure of delaying.
Particularly applicable to getting out of bed in the morning.

Q: "Why have you only just got up? Your alarm went off an hour ago!"
A: "Oh, I've been in bed procrasturbating. I always procrasturbate first thing in the morning."

by Heinous April 28, 2006

procrasturbate

To masturbate for large quantities of time, thus putting off something you are supposed to be doing instead.

1. Jose: Have you finished the homework assignment?

Chris: Nah man, I've been procrasturbating ever since I came home from school.

2. Eric: I don't feel like doing my work, I have better things to do!

John: Well make sure you don't procrasturbate like you did yesterday.

by dunebug October 15, 2010

procrasturbate

To put off masturbating. Literally procrastination when it comes to pleasuring oneself.

Father:(walks in on his son reading a very platonic and intelligent book)Jim,what the hell are you doing?
Jim:Don't look, close the door!
Father:(leaves) Why wasn't he masturbating?! That fuckin perv!!! I will not stand for procrasturbating in my house!
Jim:Damnit, why did I have to procrasturbate!?

by 646465 May 28, 2008