procrasturbate

To waste time by playing with yourself in a hedonistic but ultimately pointless way.
"Some people think all I do is procrasturbate because I sit here telling myself I'm the only one who can be right and it makes me hard"

"I was going to watch a documentary on our planet to help inspire me for my thesis, but then I saw that skinflixxxx had a free ten minute preview so I ended up procrasturbating"

"That guy Kevin is such a procrasturbater, all he does is sit around playing sad classical music drinking gin whilst crying that nobody likes him"
by IAMTHECAKE June 14, 2013
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procrasturbate

Putting off a task or chore in order to masturbate
John likes to procrasturbate because he has a sex addiction.
by CrayCrayJ January 11, 2022
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procrasturbate

When you have something to do but you procrastinate and spend your time masturbating instead.
i have homework that's due tomorrow, but all i've done today was procrasturbate
by Rooskie Business March 08, 2010
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procrasturbate

to beat the meat nonstop over a specific interval of time, pause for a short while, then continue jerking violently, repeating the process as desired; although frequently time consuming, the on-off duty of manning the post often terminates in a forceful and messy yet satiating and pleasant explosion.
I usually follow the 5-minute on, 5-minute off rule for about an hour during my procrasturbation session, at the end of which I acquire the power of vertically projectile cumshots.

My girlfriend likes to help me procrasturbate after class. After about 45 minutes of this technique, I can always makes her flinch when I blow my rocks' load on her face, or even her chest!
by theking07 January 21, 2010
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procrasturbate

To delay a task, simply for the pleasure of delaying.
Particularly applicable to getting out of bed in the morning.
Q: "Why have you only just got up? Your alarm went off an hour ago!"
A: "Oh, I've been in bed procrasturbating. I always procrasturbate first thing in the morning."
by Heinous April 13, 2006
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procrasturbate

To masturbate for large quantities of time, thus putting off something you are supposed to be doing instead.
1. Jose: Have you finished the homework assignment?

Chris: Nah man, I've been procrasturbating ever since I came home from school.

2. Eric: I don't feel like doing my work, I have better things to do!

John: Well make sure you don't procrasturbate like you did yesterday.
by dunebug October 09, 2010
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procrasturbate

To put off masturbating. Literally procrastination when it comes to pleasuring oneself.
Father:(walks in on his son reading a very platonic and intelligent book)Jim,what the hell are you doing?
Jim:Don't look, close the door!
Father:(leaves) Why wasn't he masturbating?! That fuckin perv!!! I will not stand for procrasturbating in my house!
Jim:Damnit, why did I have to procrasturbate!?
by 646465 May 29, 2008
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