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Neumann Mind-Fuck

When you have a boss named Neumann, who is SO intelligent, that you can enter his office with with resolve and with a valid demand and then leave not getting a goddamned thing you wanted, but feel like he gave you the winning numbers of the lottery.

Frank Z: Returning to his office, "FUCK!"
RickO: "What's wrong Frank?"
Frank Z: "I went to Neumann's office to demand that he let me fly business class."
RickO: "Was he receptive?"
FrankZ, rubbing his temples: "Dude, all I know is he explained how it's WAY better to fly coach and that just riding in an airplane is reward enough for anyone. I walked out gushing with gratitude and positivity until I got to the hallway. How the fuck does he do that?"
RickO: "It's called the 'Neumann Mind-Fuck'. He uses it on everyone. ...Do you still have your wallet?"
FrankZ pats his empty rear pockets and screams to the ceiling, "Fuck!"
I went to speak with Neumann about a better coffee machine. Now, I can't stand the taste of coffee... What happened...?
You've just had the Neumann Mind-Fuck.
by Professor Simon J. Futtbucker September 9, 2023
mugGet the Neumann Mind-Fuckmug.

Von Neumann Steamroller

Like a Boston Steamroller, but everyone who takes it goes and does it to two more people. An exponential Steamroller.
Damn, the city of Newark went full Von Neumann Steamroller? That's whack.
by anonymous October 3, 2023
mugGet the Von Neumann Steamrollermug.

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