Brit Monkey

A way a tech support scammer calls someone from the United Kingdom

Scammer: are your from the UK
Victim: Yes I'm from the UK
Scammer: you pice of shit you a Brit Monkey

by BritMonkeyDextopHasWirus August 11, 2016

Wet Pancakes and Monkey Donuts

When your friend use this it means she isn't sober

Kloey's spirit animals are wet pancakes and monkey donuts

by Kloepetr November 1, 2020

swapping the monkey

a feat of stealth used by thieves to successfully pilfer items atop a pressure plate.

wife speaking to her husband: why is this coffee so weak, were you fucking swapping the monkey with your cup in the coffee maker again? that's it! we're getting a divorce!

by WordRepoMan January 15, 2013

Monkeydonia

The country formerly known as FYROM only to themselves but known as Monkeydonia to everyone else due to their behaviour in current important political issues, such as land stealing, historical theft and racism.

we monkeydonians have a proud history, but it feels secondhand.

look up monkeydonia on you tube

by monkeydonia historian December 16, 2008

Monkey Branching

Getting your next relationship set up before dumping your current S/O. Generally involves cheating (at least emotionally) on your current partner with the intended future partner. Refers to playing on the monkeybars, where you don't let go of the first bar until you've grabbed on the second.

Bill: "Well, your brother just sent the Save The Dates for his third marriage - they haven't even finalized the divorce yet!"

Joe: "Yeah, the monkey branching SOB did the same for his second marriage as well - all his relationships 'overlap,' if ya know what I mean."

OR

Joe: "Sue and I decided to try an open relationship."

Bill: "I dunno, sounds like she's monkey branching to her *next* relationship."

by Mai Ainsel March 25, 2022

Monkey Beating An Engine With A Hammer

A parable passed down for generations describing the futility of the unintelligent to perform simple tasks.

Since ancient times, when an imbecile, ill-advised coworker or friend has attempted an assignment beyond their capabilities, they are often compared to a monkey endlessly trying to fix an engine that won't start by beating on it with a hammer, because monkeys do not possess the skills of a mechanic.

After being shown how twice, Dan never did learn how to open the fence, so it rained on him a few hours later. He was just like a Monkey Beating An Engine With A Hammer that day.

by Louisiana Gold December 21, 2008

monkeybate

The act of vigorously masturbating penis, aided by either poppers, weed, or both and often at the expense of personal relationships and productivity. So named because the masturbator engaging in the monkeybate is often so overwhelmed with pleasure that they screw up their faces in a way that mimics a baboon, gorilla, or monkey.

"Bro, Chad is so fucking gooned out on his monkeybate."

by Ultbator August 19, 2019