masturbatory contingency

The natural mental ability all people possess that allows them to quickly and dynamically assess the situation and environment they are in to decide whether or not it is practical to masturbate at the exact moment in time.

My mother wasn't due to be back home for another 10 minutes, so I thought I'd slip in a quick wank. However, masturbatory contingency told me that it wasn't worth taking any chance of her walking in on me.

by Scekhcsy Foxmonk August 8, 2010

masturbator's cramp

Pain and swelling in the muscle around the mid-arm, elbow area which is caused by excessive masturbating. Not to be confused with Gamer's Wrist.

"Look at that huge whelp on Johnny's arm. Think he gets beaten?"

"Nah, it's probably Masturbator's Cramp."

by DesPERRYado April 21, 2005

masturbate

What guys do all the time and girls never admit to doing.

Guy: Come on, everyone does it. Don't be ashamed to admit you masturbate.
Girl: Ew gross, I would never touch myself.

by Peopleplz June 7, 2009

stress masturbate

When one engages in vigorous masturbation as a means of immediate stress relief.

After he was asked to re-do the assignment, Bryce went to stress masturbate before getting down to work.

by Williamsburg Rabbi February 9, 2015

masturbatory overtones

When someone has that hint of touching themselves in their voice when talking to them on the phone or from behind a closed door.

I called my boy Joe and between the echo sound from the bathroom and the vibes in his voice, I totally detected some masturbatory overtones.

by Korbenbirdman March 13, 2011

myspace masturbatory aid

A hot chick on Myspace whose photos are used as masturbatory aid.

You may ask yourself why someone would search for pictures of hot chicks on Myspace instead of just using porn or pictures of celebs.

Well, the alluring part of Myspace pictures is the innocence and the fact that they were most likely not expecting their photos to be used as masturbatory aid.

Porn just won't do it for me anymore, I need Myspace Masturbatory Aid.

by deathwish124 May 13, 2009

Masturbate

1) The most pleasurable thing in the entire universe
2)What you do when you're bored and have nothing to do
3)Why Playboys exist
4)To rub or agitate the clitoris, pussy, balls, dick, etc., to gain sexual pleasure
5)Why teenage pregnancies are less frequent
6)What I did before writing this; I got horny reading some of these definitions. By the way, very good material for getting horny. Look up Orgasm, Cum, and Fuck. Very nice ones.

1)Even having 3 orgasms, a blow job, and at least 4 cups of cum go down my throat when i fucked my boyfriend last Friday was not as good as when i masturbate.
2)Hm...... I'm bored. Hey, I know!!! I'll get my old electric toothbrush and masturbate to orgasm. What channel should i put my TV on?
3)I went to the store on the corner and got a Playboy. Now let's masturbate!!!!
4)The year is 1985. I had heard that fuck meant to have sex, and middle finger meant fuck, too. So, I tried combining them!!! I call it, MASTURBATE, or MASTURBATION. I'm sure it'll become popular.

5)Girl 1:With my vibrator, i can masturbate all i want and i can have all the pleasure i want, and i won't get pregnant!!!

Girl 2: But don't you want a baby? I mean, you're already 22.

Girl 1: Hell no!!!!!!!
6)No example, but if you get horny and masturbate to climax.... your welcome.

by IdontKNOWwhatTOdoNOW June 10, 2009