Management Masterbation

When Management does something purely for their gratification that will produce nothing.

Team building exersizes, employee surveys are just a few examples of management masterbation.

by jayray59 May 6, 2010

Management by Spreadsheet

An micromanagement technique whereby the micromanager generates an infinite stream of spreadsheets, mostly containing a hodgepodge of data, each purported to document and store a specific part of an employee's work output.

The employee is required to fill out blanks in the spreadsheet instead of remaining engaged in useful work.

The intent of the micromanager is to to attain control over all knowledge, gaining a sense of omnipotence. The inevitable end result is that spreadsheet maintenance becomes the only work performed.

Today I'm filling out one of his spreadsheets documenting my hourly work output. I'm really getting tired of Management by Spreadsheet.

by Dr. Specific September 22, 2009

Carlson School of Management

(n) {originally English, (1998)}
1. An institution in Minneapolis, Minnesota that excels in the field of douchebaggery.

US: \kärl-'ên skül êv 'man-ij-mênt\
International: \karlsên sku:l êv mænid3mênt\

1. (in conversation) My son is studying at the Carlson School of Management. (reply) Oh, so I see he is becomming a well-trained douchebag.

by lLamaD February 18, 2005

Waste Management

Slang term for work in organized crime/mafia/mob groups. Specifically, murder or abduction of people as well as extortion among other things.

“My boss is the head of waste management where I work.”

“I work in waste management.”

“I’m the head of waste management.”

by Tityf0ck13 August 14, 2021

Management Porn

Graphs, diagrams and meaningless reports produced solely for the gratification of management.

Manager: I don't understand?
Techy: Oh. I should have generated some Management Porn.

by SomePoorTechy October 10, 2008

mushroom management

To keep your employees in the dark, and every now and then throw shit on them.

by farks_me September 18, 2003

Management jizz blanket

a term used to describe the type of woman who sleeps with one or multiple members of the management team at her place of work. This is sometimes seen as behaviour common of those wanting a payrise or promotion, but this is not always seen to occur. It is often preceded by consumption of large amounts of alcohol and/or face stroking.

oh like some kind of management jizz blanket?

by Wisevalve November 6, 2010