Guatemalan Water Pump

A standing sexual position in which the man is behind the woman, who is bent over with her hands cuffed behind her back. As the man "pumps", he moves the woman's arms up & down, while putting his finger in her ass. At the moment of climax, the man pulls his finger out as the woman simultaneously ejaculates and shits.

While vacationing in Antigua, I hired a tuba player to come back to my hotel room and play while I gave my wife a Guatemalan Water Pump.

by ohmwrecker January 21, 2009

guatemalan pineapple

A form of sex that is incredibly pointy, and painful.

"Dude, my ass is ripped to shreds!"

"Really?"

"Yeah, that guatemalan pineapple really fucking hurt."

"I could tell, your ass looks like Detroit."

by MegaBronyClopper69 January 31, 2014

Guatemalan lawn ninja

The unidentifiably Hispanic lawn maintenance crew. They mysteriously appear at 10am on a Saturday, with neither call nor contract. They set up all their equipment and wake you up with their obnoxious weed eaters, but manage to disappear before you are awake enough to open the blinds.

*covers face with pillow* Damnit honey the Guatemalan lawn ninjas are back!

by Jacki B February 21, 2009

guatemalan conover

The process of defiling a co-workers workspace while they are absent, usually by rubbing genitalia on office furniture or releasing fluids into their work environment.

When Shannon came back to work, she found that someone had done a Guatemalan Conover on her office and spent the next week disinfecting it.

by midwest slang expert May 20, 2009

Guatemalan Glaucoma Check

When pent up gases in the female vaginal pipe shoot out into a person's eye while either in 69 or straight eating the curly curtains. Often resulting in pink eye.

Kyle: Danny, what happened to your eye?

Danny: I got a Guatemalan Glaucoma check last night

Kyle: Was it that spicy?

by supermeathead December 7, 2011

guatemalan fire starter

Doing anal raw with no lube after Taco Tuesday.

My wife said she wanted to do a Guatemalan fire starter so I had to cook some tacos!

by SmegmaPancake May 10, 2019

Guatemalan Grinder Grab

when a male victim of homosexual rape reaches back between his legs and grabs the testicles of the raper and squeezes them as hard as he can. this technique is often a last ditch effort to halt the rape in progress.
this technique is called the "guatemalan" grinder grab due to the fact that first recorded occurrence of this technique was in Guatemala.

man 1: "why you walkin all funny ralph?"

ralph: "that dirty mexican i was raping last night gave me a guatemalan grinder grab... i think he popped my right ball!"

man 1: "harsh dude! that's why i always chloroform them first!"

by feldpar February 16, 2009