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Fecal filter

The degree to which a person's pants filter out his/her flatulence. The higher the fecal filter the less fart you smell.
Customer: Excuse me sir, could you tell me which of these brands of jeans has the highest fecal filter?

Salesperson: Of course. (Brand A) will give you the best protection. Wear (Brand B), however, and you might as well go commando; you can practically SEE the gas wafting out.
by pickleicious13 January 5, 2011
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fecalator

A metaphysical device that functions by taking taking perfectly good situations and turning them to shit.

While fecalators have never actually been seen, such devices must exist in order to explain situations where everything seems to go to Hell.
Alphonse: "Hey, Gaston! Is the copier up?"

Gaston: "Naw. Someone must of left the fecalator on."
by H. M. Meinschaftgefullenburger September 24, 2009
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Fecal Bandit

One who defecates in a public restroom in an area other than the commode and proceeds to vandalize the said restroom by smearing his feces in a way that would resemble the icing of a chocolate cake.
Principal Devaney: It seems that some of the guys are unfamiliar with the proper use of toilet paper in the men's restroom. If this "Fecal Bandit" strikes again consequences will follow.
by DM and ZB January 29, 2004
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fecal

1. fecal (adj.): of, relating to, or resembling feces
2. fecal (adj.): of or relating to the 'fecus'--the deeper region of the anus, where the feces reside
3. fecal (noun): feces (short for 'fecal-matter')
4. fecal (noun): a shitty handprint (pronounced fee-kal) - this is presumably a combination of the two terms 'fecal' and 'decal'
1. "Most people believe that it is impossible to subsist on fecal matter, but this is simply not the case!"; "this chocolate bar is disturbingly fecal in appearance"
2. "Bryan can't resist stuffing a finger or two while he masturbates... He's always giving himself the ol' 'fecal-teeckle'"
3. "holy lord, Bryan, stop eating that sandwich and go wash your hands!.. You've got fecal all over them!"
4. "Hahaha, Smitty got drunk last night, filled a bucket full of his own feces, and ran around campus slapping fe-cals on every car windshield he could find"
by squiggular August 8, 2018
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fecal bomb

When one defacates and urinates into a tube sock, and swings it around to give someone a very unpleasant surprise.
Mainly performed throughout penitentaries.
Inmate 67594 fecal bombed 3 guards during the riot.
by Ekoms May 28, 2008
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Fecal tornado

The vortex of wind and human feces that forms when using an inverted-U shaped hand dryer.
It was clear upon seeing the microbial biofilm encasing the inside of the hand dryer in the airport bathroom that my hands would have to suffer the fury of a fecal tornado in order to be dried.
by DrGerm November 28, 2018
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Fecal Position

Sitting on the throne, but tightly coiled while in the grip of sweaty, white-knuckled intestinal distress.
Judd: How was your weekend?

Dirk: Oh dude, you don't wanna know. I went to a stag Friday night and I think the sausage in the sausage and peppers wasn't cooked all the way through. Spent most of the rest of the weekend in the fecal position.

Judd: You're right, I didn't want to know.
by Placenta Bob February 19, 2010
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