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John Egbert

John Egbert, the first character introduced in homestuck, is a 13 year old male with the birthday 4/13. Also known as John Egderp, DORK, FUKING EGBERT, Joooooooohn, and rING THIEF
"Hey look it's fucking John Egbert"
by SeerOfBreath May 7, 2018
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Mr. eggburt

Mr. Eggburt is the man you find at the end of time in an empty white room who tells you you have no purpose, no friends and no life.
"It's ok. They're not real. Neither are you or your dreams", said Mr. Eggburt
by Hyper Demented September 29, 2021
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Related Words

Eggbertlicious

That bitch Fergie is Eggbertlicious.
by Pingwan June 22, 2015
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Rusty Eggbeater

Verb: The act of jamming a running electrical eggbeater into someones vagina during sex.
Guy 1: "Man how did things go with her last night?"
Guy 2: "Things went awesome, she really loved it when we did the Rusty Eggbeater"
by vlaskipravik December 20, 2012
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John Egbert

A character from the webcomic Homestuck.
John Egbert is an absolute idiot who some how managed to die and reach the god tier of 'Heir of Breath", which then caused him to be useful. He enjoyed fucking around with time and space when he got the chance. Look on some random pages in the comic, you'll find his hand in the background.
Person 1(who has clearly never read Homestuck to be asking this question): Who's your favourite character from Homestuck?
Person 2: I don't know.. John Egbert? Honestly there's too many characters to just pick one.
by CuriousAuthor July 18, 2017
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Eggert

Derogatory: a slur used against bald people who jaywalk
Yeah, man, I hit a stupid eggert while they were jaywalking and now I have to repair my car
by Cumdumpster Jones June 29, 2022
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Egyptian Eggbeater

A sexual act involving a person of the male sex's member, the mouth of a woman (typically), and one or more chicken eggs. To begin with, the man cracks the egg(s) into the woman's opened mouth. Then, he grabs his memeber with his hand, places it in the egg goop in the woman's mouth, and begins to violently flail his pecker about, beating the eggs into a fine mixture. The man may then (but does not have to) ejaculate into the woman's mouth. After that, the woman then must swallow the beaten egg(s), whether they contains semen or not.
"Hey bro! Do you watch Iron Chef with Emmerald?"
"Sometimes, but after about 10 minutes I usually get bored and end up giving my girlfriend Alex an Egyptian Eggbeater."
by Ed Denes April 3, 2008
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