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Typically described as a full on male nerd who fully believes that the introduction and then subsequent removal of his sexual attentions from a woman's life can destroy her very existence. Confident in his extraordinary bedroom prowess, he can be characterised by his awkward dress sense, many female "just" friends, short stature and his extensive collection of PC gaming paraphenalia. Often balding, this man wears spectacles and declares himself an athiest. Is likely to have pronounced his love to many women, directly followed by a knowing look and the phrase "I'd only hurt you." This belief is based on real experience or an impressive intellectual architecture of movie plots sublimated over many years of saturday nights at home.

Stock phrases include "Trust me, I'm a dick", "No, Modern Warfare on the PC is way better" and "Sure mum, I'll zip you up".
Me: Oh god, its eggbert again.

Eggbert (Getting off back of Motorbike, behind driver):

Bye mum!

(Driver Waves, adjusts woolen coat and drives away)
by notimenomoney May 02, 2010
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some1 that possess very irritating qualities such as annoying speech impedements, hyperactiveness and has a head shaped roughly like an egg. You will usually discover the urge to beat the shit of an eggbert while they talk complete bullshit out of their eggbertius head.
Daniel Freeman
Youve got an eggbert head
shut up egglet
by robertochaun May 14, 2005
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A name given to a woman who gets fat immediately after marriage.
It's great that you found a partner, but the reality is that she seems like a lightweight eggbert.
by Jason Weiskopf April 06, 2019
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