Skip to main content

Two-Hand Doorstep Buttslap

An encouragement for urgency from one partner to the other, administered by placing both hands on the butt-cheeks and applying playful but noticeable strength (Note: the stronger the slap, the greater the urgency).
Typically performed whilst the couple stand giggling at the front door of an apartment, struggling to turn the key.

The motives for this technique can be affectionate, sexual or prosaic.

Not to be confused with a 'One-Hand Doorstep Buttslap'
Sexual -
Guy: "Man, I was so horny and she was taking forever to turn the key"
Guy's buddy: "Two-Hand Doorstep Buttslap usually works"
Guy: "Yeah. And I left my hands there as long as I could. Even though her wriggling meant it took her even longer!"

Prosaic -
Girl: "I was desperate for the bathroom, and he was opening the door like an old man. So I gave him a Two-Hand Doorstep Buttslap, pushed him aside and sprinted past"
by NorvenMunki September 18, 2013
mugGet the Two-Hand Doorstep Buttslap mug.

doorstep cobbler

A worthless talentless individual, bereft of taste and style; most probably hanging out for a crack at the younget member of the household.
I shouldnt go near them, they look like a doorstep cobbler.
by peter james woods July 20, 2009
mugGet the doorstep cobbler mug.

Doorstep Crapper

A "doorstep crapper" (or pooper) is a person who does something and then denies it, despite the strong evidence they did indeed.

Comes from the analogy of someone pooping on a doorstep, and upon confrontation says "Nobody's pooping on your doorstep, stop overreacting." Before again pooping on the doorstep later.

Doorstep crappers are hypocritical and act like they are innocent despite being guilty liars.
Example 1:
Person: Hey, Bob, stop stealing my cookies.
Bob: Nobody's stealing your cookies, stop complaining, nobody cares. *proceeds to steal Person's cookies*
Person: I see you Bob, stop being a doorstep crapper.

Example 2:
Kid: Hey, stop copying my work!
Peer: I'm not copying your work! *blatantly copies Kid's work again*
by jims gooning May 1, 2021
mugGet the Doorstep Crapper mug.

bag of trash on your doorstep

Why did someone let a bag of trash on your doorstep? Because you're trash!
Someone is telling you that you are trash!
by tdoodlethenoodle January 21, 2023
mugGet the bag of trash on your doorstep mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email