Self Diagnosis Doctors

People who diagnose conditions without actually having a degree. While some people are proficient at this, many are not.

Steve - "Man, my stomach is really cramped up."
Self Diagnosis Doctors - "You probably have aids."

by StevoPativo March 11, 2011

Ricer Diagnostics

righ-sir-die-ag-nos-ticks

1) A person who clearly has no idea about how car engines work, but will add up all the engine modifications he has/plans to get with preconcieved horsepower figures to show how fast his car is.

2)A person who looks like hes working on his engine, but he's really just making sure his intake didn't fall off yet and he has no idea what he is doing or what is wrong with his car.

1) (man performing ricer diagnostics) "yea, well the car has 120 hp stock, but i got a intake, muffler, and performance tuner, so its got like 160 hp now, cuz the intakes 15 hp, the mufflers 15 hp, and the chips 10.

2) yea man, theres smoke coming outta the transfuxfibulator there, i just gotta retune my muffler bearings and it should be even faster than before.

by unclepeanuts May 17, 2011

run some diagnostics on the commode

A formal way of saying "take a shit"

Tikh: Hey where ya headed to so fast?
Dylan: I just had my morning coffee, and now I gotta run some diagnostics on the commode!

by Lil' Enyaw December 11, 2016

Self Diagnosed ADHD

A dumb ass who took a buzzfeed test and it said they have ADHD, and now uses it for ever excuse in the world.

Me: Are you focused?
Them: OMG! I’m so sorry, It’s just my ADHD LOL!
Me: Do you actually have ADHD, like went to a doctor?
Them: No, I took a quiz and It said I have ADHD
Me: Jesus, you’re a dumb ass, That’s just Self Diagnosed ADHD.

by Mrsymphony September 14, 2020

soft diagnosis

A sensible diagnosis that has not yet been confirmed through comprehensive testing.

My cat has a soft diagnosis of cancer but I can’t afford all the tests to see for sure.

by bashasrus666 June 6, 2018

diagnosiphilia

The obsession with needing a diagnosis for any problem that occurs in one’s life. Often results in a self-diagnosis.

“Mom, my foot’s been aching after my 5k walk, I think I need to get it checked out.”
“You just went to the doctor’s last week for a sore throat, maybe this time he’ll say it’s diagnosiphilia.”

by shaxingg January 6, 2021

diagnosis whore

Someone who collects mental diagnoses to gain sympathy.

Sarah: Melissa says she has bipolar disorder, dissociative disorder, and generalized anxiety disorder.

Heather: Melissa is such a diagnosis whore!

by JasmineSarahHeather December 30, 2008