Dutch carpentry

A term made up by horny ex-Mormons trying to get their wives to try anal.

“Yo Brigham, ever since I left the church, I Ben trying to hit the back door. I told my wife that it was either anal or Dutch carpentry…she chose anal.”

by ElMormonGrande April 20, 2023

Incomming Crapstrike

People with constipation problems sometimes take too much laxatives.
With that their crap goes airborne and becomes a crapstrike.

Guy 1: shit i won't make it to the toilet!
guy 2: No, whatever you do, just don't...
Guy 1: Incomming Crapstrike
Guy 2: NOOOOO >FLATSJ!<

by Dj Urdjen June 3, 2010

carpentry

When you put a girl up against a wall and fuck her. HARD!

I fucked her so hard, i nailed her to the wall.

by Chus Buttface April 3, 2005

crapistry

a long and chronological record documenting the significant events of crap

In today's crapisty lesson, we will discuss the latrines created by the Romans.

by Jamie Sommers July 26, 2004

Chapestry

A woman who is a chapesty is someone who is so chapped, that it is a travesty.

Emma is simply just a chapestry.

by chapestry man December 1, 2022

chainsaw carpentry

Construction method that is often amateur in nature and generally performed with minimal measuring and little attention to aesthetics. Ideal for situations where speed and functionality are more important than appearance.

I'm no cabinet maker, but I'm pretty decent when it comes to chainsaw carpentry.

by Saikotik Gunman August 12, 2008

scottish carpentry

The term is not used to describe the quality of Scottish Carpenters (who are craftsmen/women and do great work!)

The term is used to describe the linear rage within the Scottish soul - A progressive reaction to a progressive in-justice that has no real cause - A 'slow-burn' explosion. This is best described through the medium of poetry:

Scottish Carpentry

Owit, Aya, Mammy Daddy!
A hit ma thumb wi' a hammer
An’ that wis fuckin' sore

Christ all-bloody mighty!
Noo a’ve fuckin’ drapped it
It's fell on ma fuckin' toe

Cuntin' fuckin' bastardin' hammer!
The blood's goin' in ma eye

A loast the plot, heedered the nail
Everything must die!!

Aaaaaaah fuckin' hate wid!

I suffer from Scottish Carpentry and now I hate wood! (In this example, 'wood' can be substituted for any other noun or verb.)

by Jackson Greenhorn September 16, 2020