coffee penus

When you have to uranate every five or ten minutes because you've been drinking too much coffee.

(Rick): {dialing telephone}: beep beep boop beep boop boop beep

{ring...ring...ring...}

(Rick's boss): Hello, this is National Plastics Conglomerate, how may I help you?

(Rick): Hey boss, can't come in today. Got coffee penus and I'd never make the 40-minute commute without pissing all over myself.

(Rick's boss): YOU'RE FIRED!!! ***CLICK!!!***

by Telephony November 13, 2011

Coffee Cunt

Somebody who is proud of his/her (usually her) 'addiction' to coffee; somebody who never shuts up about how much he/she needs coffee to function, as if it's a quirky personality trait, or a hobby, or just something to make her seem like an interesting human being.

Usually a fan of Starbucks or some other shitty chain café; usually takes a particular type of coffee (Latté, Mocha, (worst of all) Frappuccino) and tells everybody that it's "all I ever drink."

"I've got to have a cup of coffee, I can't start the day without one! I can't do anything until I've had my macchiato! I can't help it, it's just who I am!"

"Shut the fuck up, you Coffee Cunt"

by CatCity November 13, 2011

Sloppy coffee

A really delicious coffee that has the texture of mud

Hello hello try sloppy coffee really good yum big dick and pussy coffee sloppy coffee try it try it buy it fucking drink fucking fucking coffee

by Fuck fucking fuck fucking fuck October 3, 2021

Coffee joint

Coffee joint is like a joint, except it's for coffee. You roll a piece of paper and light the joint then light the stove with it. You then proceed to make coffee in a stovetop espresso maker. Coffee is not possible without the coffee joint.

I lit the stove with the coffee joint, then I made coffee in the stovetop espresso maker.

Coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee!

by HawaiianPunch1 April 30, 2020

Is coffee good for you

Phrase popular on various image board websites such as 4chan.org. It's a phrase used to mock posters which ask mundane questions alongside a sexual image.

References a meme in which a figure is seen holding up an image of an anime girl to a crowd, asking "Is coffee good for you?".

>OP: posts thread asking about the weather alongside a sexual image

>Anon: "Is coffee good for you?"

by (((shekels))) April 9, 2020

coffee turns cold

Just like the moon, i will love you silently from afar

like we were once as warm as coffee, before everything turned cold - coffee turns cold

by badasspig April 29, 2023

Coffee Felcher

A selfish person who sneaks a cup of coffee before the brewing cycle is complete thus causing the finished brew to be weak and bitter.
Worse yet is when mutiple Coffee Felchers team up to make the final brew undrinkable.
In History:During the Battle of the Alamo a feral Mexican wolfboy known only as the Chupacafe was sent into the Alamo by President General Antonio López de Santa Anna wherein he would coffee felch from the American defenders' morning coffee thusly disheartening those brave Texans.
It is theorized that all Coffee Felchers are the genetic offspring of this feral Chupacafe and a woman named Irene.

(Sips coffee)...YUCK!!!,those goddamn Coffee Felchers have been at it again.(Spits out coffee)

by Dr.Cyclopz January 6, 2012