Skip to main content

consultant

Someone who borrows your watch to tell you the time, and then walks off with it
a consultant is a legitimate, occasionally usefull professional adivser
by 666Mike999 August 17, 2006
mugGet the consultant mug.

Network Consultant

A parasite that contributes nothing to the network and is only looking for ways to stay on the payroll. This is the individual at the burger joint that asks “do you want fries with that?” The network Consultant is constantly looking for useless network tweaks to justify his presence at a customer site. Be especially weary of the Euro-trash no talent hack type; this character dazzles senior management with a ridiculous accent all the while unraveling the solid network that’s in place. Network consultants never look at a network as a whole, but only analyze bits and pieces of it. In this manner they always have work do to since the last project they completed broke some other part of the network.
I’m gonna have to give nickel blow jobs in the street to get my self respect back after taking this network consultant job.

If that network consultant was on fire; I wouldn’t piss on him.
by network dog February 14, 2006
mugGet the Network Consultant mug.

consult the oracle

To type a word,phrase,question,or query in to google. To seek an answer via the search engine google.
"What time does the movie start?"
"I'm not sure...consult the oracle!"

"Hmmm ....I have a nasty rash...time to consult the oracle..."
by canuckchuck66 October 4, 2014
mugGet the consult the oracle mug.

Compsult

It is a compliment and an insult at the same time. Can be like a no offence call. It can also use sarcasm.
"Her big ass looks great," Tim said.
"Nice compsult there," Mark agreed.
by Wiseranga12345 November 15, 2011
mugGet the Compsult mug.

Coochie Consultation

To set an appointment to have sex with a woman. Much like a dick appointment, but is used by males and lesbians, used only to fuck with no feelings.
Bro, I gotta go! I have a coochie consultation 🍑
by Lilbrowngirl420 May 12, 2020
mugGet the Coochie Consultation mug.

consultant

A man who knows 500 different ways to make love, but doesn't know any women.
The gov't. mistakenly hired a plethora of consultants to find a solution to the problem.
by Richard Kirshen October 24, 2003
mugGet the consultant mug.

management consultant

Someone who works for a management consulting firm. The consultant gets paid about 10% of what the firm charges the client for the consultants services. For example, the firm may charge the client $9,000 a week for the consultant but pays the consultant about $900 a week. A lot of consultants have never had any experience with the type of work that the client does.

The lifestyle at some firms consists of 100% travel. You leave on Sunday and come back on Friday. The travel and hotel are paid for and the consultant gets to keep the airline miles and hotel points. There is also per diem. The day can start at 630 AM when you meet with your team in the hotel lobby to leave for work. The clients site may be anywhere from 15 minutes to 45 minutes away. The clients provide the consultants with a makeshift office. The consultant may not get back to the hotel until 6PM.

The consultant is usually part of a team. The team leader may be someone with just a couple more years experience. Training tends to be on-the-job. There can be intense, almost violent, conflicts within the team and between a consultant and people who work in the client company.

A consultant is the lowest rung in the ladder, then comes project manager, then the guy who is managing multiple projects at the same time, then ultimately partner.

Most of the money is made from bonuses. A project manager may earn 65K but make a couple thousand in bonus money. Even people high in the ladder may make "only" about 90K but more than make up for it in bonuses.

It is difficult to explain what a management consultant does. There are some on-the-floor observations of what the client company does. There is interviewing of some people who work for the client. There is use of computers and installing new programs. The consultant recommends changes and try to implement them.The consultant seems to have to create his own work.
The "Bobs" in the movie Office Space were management consultants.
by Jose Miura October 14, 2006
mugGet the management consultant mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email