Granola's Witness 

An environmentalist who excessively preaches his/her save-the-earth lifestyle to others to the point of being truly annoying.

"My landlord told me to not put my lawnchair in the back yard because it may kill the grass, and says i don't recycle enough."
"Wow! He's a real Granola's Witness"

Granola's Witness by limeyluke007 September 30, 2009

ghetto witness 

a person who is often from a low income neighborhood that is the material witness to a crime.

ghetto witness: well OBVIUSLEE we have a raypist in lincoln park, he's climbin in yo windows, he's snatchin yo peepul up, tryna rape 'em so ya'll need to hide yo kids, hide yo wife, and hide yo husband cuz dey rapin' eerybodee in hur.

ghetto witness by ghettowitness August 1, 2010

brohovah's witness

A spin off of bro, broseff, brody, bromosexual, or bra used by a bro to fellow bro

Bra 1: What's up bromeister?

Bra 2: Nothing much brohovah's witness.

brohovah's witness by gooch juicer June 11, 2009

witness mark 

When you poop so forcefully and violently it leaves a glob of poo on the back of the toilet bowl that no amount of flushing will dislodge causing the perpetrator to resort to the toilet brush. Witness marks usually only occur with projectile diarrhea.

I pooped a quart and left a witness mark in the toilet bowl.

witness mark by wolfbait51 May 6, 2011

fake witness

A disparaging term utilized for the purpose of discrediting someone whose truth will likely end your gravy train in Congress.

Mr. Cohen, you are a fake witness.

fake witness by Dr Bunnygirl February 27, 2019

withness 

a strong, authentic and intimate connection forged with the true heart of another
a sense of purposeful spiritual support and relationship that is reciprocated and expanded, especially at physical distance
an experience of committed partnership beyond the terms of reasonable friendship

"Your withness has brought me a lot of comfort."
"Never has our withness been so clear to me. I know you're here. I know you care."
She wasn't able to come to the hospital, but she was so obviously here. I valued her withness as though she was physically present.

withness by lavalamp82! May 18, 2017

the household maid witnessed it all 

A less-than-well-known joke about Fereydoon's stalker (the household maid) from the game Wild ARMs 5. The "household maid" is a creepy woman who watched (or "witnessed", as she says) Fereydoon and Lucille spending some "quality time" with each other, and tells the person playing the game all about it. It's an easter egg, so very few people who have played the game actually know about it.

Outside of the WA5 cult, this phrase can be used to cause awkward silences.

Original Phrase: I witnessed it all... Fereydoon the Sentinel and a maid from Lady Diana's mansion, having tea and getting VERY cozy with each other...

Example of use in real life:

Mom: What were you doing up there with your girlfriend?

Your older brother: Uh...watching a movie?

Your younger sister, who was in the other room and heard it all: The household maid witnessed it all.

the household maid witnessed it all by zolo1243 December 16, 2008