waitness

An observer of a crime whom da court delays from testifying for extended periods.

Da term "waitness" could also refer to a WAITRESS who was a WITNESS when "s**t hit da fan".

waitness by QuacksO April 20, 2026

Fauchovah's Witness 

A member of the Covidian sect of cultish apologists who fervently adhere to the teachings and mandates of the one and only true Fauchovah.

"Do NOT confuse Fauchovah's Witnesses with JWs."

"One is the sole religion of the only true god & the other is Jehovah's Witnesses!"

Fauchovah's Witness by Logical Empiricist Stoic September 11, 2023

Witness Protection

A thing that Michael Townley(now Michael De Santa) was not in

"Michael was in witness protection"

WITNESS PROTECTION FOR WHAT!? NOBODY WAS CONVICTED OF ANYTHING

Witness Protection by Pigeon_builder June 24, 2021

Witness Protection For What 

A wise thing some small streamer dude called viper dark or some shit like that said

Person 1: Witness protection for what?!?
Person 2: No one was convicted of anything!!!

Witness Protection For What by witnessprotectionforwhat April 14, 2022

witness era 

Refers to an artist's career where they failed to reach the public's high standards even though they did really well and has accomplished great feats.

Sam Smith's witness era is now happening since people are sleeping on his new music release.

witness era by sswishdeity October 27, 2020

paid witness 

an unarmed security guard

I mean, what the hell is this guy gonna do against a heat packing thief?

Lady: Aahhh! That guy just took my purse!
Guard: He sure did!
Lady: Well, do something, dammit!
Guard: What do you want me to do? Run up and slap him so he can knife me to death? I'm just a paid witness!
Lady: Argh!

paid witness by creaternity May 13, 2006

Fair Witness 

A "Fair Witness" is a fictional profession in the book "Stranger in a Strange Land" by Robert A. Heinlein. In the book, Fair Witnesses were individuals trained to see the world around them, as literally as possible, until sensed (see/hear/smell/taste/touch) otherwise.

Another way to describe it would be someone that takes all things sensed as literal as possible & have no reason to believe what they just sensed will remain that way when they are no longer sensing them (seeing/tasting/etc.)

An excerpt from the book itself, where the character referenced as "Anne" is an off-duty Fair Witness:

Jubal to Jill: "Even Cavendish did not--at least he won't say so. You know how Fair Witnesses behave."

Jill: "Well...no, I don't. I've never met one."

Jubal to Jill: "So? ANNE!"

Anne was on the springboard; she turned her head. Jubal called out, "That house on the hilltop--can you see what color they've painted it?"

Anne looked, then answered, "It's white on this side."

Jubal went on to Jill: "You see? It doesn't occur to Anne to infer that the other side is white, too. All the King's horses couldn't force her to commit herself...unless she went there and looked--and even then she wouldn't assume that it stayed white after she left."

Fair Witness by ZoLatKam April 2, 2014