Tedding

Tedding: the male act of monetary pretension as a means to get in your pants, someday; carrot-danglers with perverse intentions.

Teds take you to "nice" dinners at the Capital Grille and promise you nice things like Prada handbags, Christian Louboutins and someday a trip to Paris. At first you are really excited at the thought of being wined, dined and spoiled because your 45,000 annual salary is barely enough to dine at Applebees and pay for your studio apartment.

However, when it comes time to deliver the goods, something always seems to come up...

Ted- "My great uncle died, I have to go out of town for the weekend. Sorry, we will go shopping when I get back..."

Ted-"Ugh, I spent 30 grand in Vegas this weekend." *hint, hint*

Warning Signs of a Ted:

-The rug in his bathroom is from Target.

-After a few well vodka tonics, he brags about his 1 million Marriot points and United Gold status, as a discrete but insincere gesture that he intends on taking you on a "vacation."

-He drives an Acura.

-You find a receipt for Men's Warehouse in his car cup holder.

-He is a software developer.

-He buys you a perfume sampler from Sephora.

Teds come in all shapes and sizes, but generally speaking they are 4's or 5's at best and a 10 on the scale of disappointment.

Ashley: "Chris and I went to South Beach this weekend -- I got a Prada Saffiano and a pair of Christian Pigalles."

You: Are you fricking Tedding me!?

Ashley - "No."

by Lindseeeb April 19, 2014

laundromat turding

A sly and filthy prank whereas someone runs into a laundromat and takes a quick dump into a washer filled with someone’s clothes and then tears out before anyone can stop them.

We used to get seriously drunk and then go laundromat turding before calling it a night and going home!

by Dr Bunnygirl July 3, 2021

tudying

means tidying, - aka an idiot typos

Stephen: "i'm busy tudying"

Nicola: "?..."

Stephen: "*tidying"

Nicola: "..idiot..-.-"

Stephen: "D:"

Nicola: "dfmug -_-"

by Nicolalala<3 July 7, 2011

tuddling

like sexting, but instead of describing sexually explicit exploits through text, you describe cuddling instead!

Boy: Now I'm going to wrap my arms around you and not let go!
Girl: I love being the little spoon and I love tuddling with you :

by Larry Smarter April 18, 2011

Urban Turding

The act if finding a inconspicuous place to pinch a loaf in a metro setting. Preferably downtown amongst high rise office buildings and parking lots. The general goal is to get as close to the daily rush of commuter society as humanly possible without drawing attention to your self.

OK, so I was out urban turding yesterday afternoon and found the best spot right at 12th and Taylor, you have to be quick and plan your attack but if your quiet you can lay cable like two feet away from the commuters walking by.

by emmerthouse July 7, 2008

Tedding

Derived from the T.V show 'How I met your mother', to Ted is to be morbidly depressed about your social or love life. People who ted often; over think situations, have low confidence in their appeal to the opposite sex and often refer to attractive members of the opposite sex as 'out of their league'. People who Ted on a regular basis tend to be unimpulsive and require a great deal of peer pressure to engage with the opposite sex.

Guy 1: "So did you talk to Charissa last night?"
Guy 2: "Yeah, but I don't think she'd ever go for a guy like me."
Guy 1: "Stop tedding man."

by Moing It November 10, 2011

TURDING

1. The act of being or acting like a turd
2. The act of wasting your life away by doin nothing & always complaining about everything.
Synonyms: loafing, slacking

John liked Turding around so much in life he never got stuff done and was basically a waste of oxygen all his life.

by VIGOROUS JONESY August 1, 2011