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New Year's resolution

n: An assessment of, and often delusional attempt to correct, one's shortcomings. Typically made on a day that is arbitrary except that it begins a new year on the standard Gregorian Calendar. Given the arbitrary nature of the date and the sudden change of lifestyle demanded by most resolutions, it should not be surprising that most resolutions are abandonded by the start of the next year. Fortunately the next New Year gives a person the opportunity to make the same resolution again.
A common New Year's resolution: get fit, get thin, get hot, get laid.

A common outcome: stay out of shape, stay fat, stay ugly, masturbate.
by ScabNainz January 19, 2006
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new year's resolutions

Things you promise yourself you will do or accomplish, but try as you might you never will.
"This year I'm going to lose weight"
december 31, 2005, weight = 300 lb
"God damnit!!"
by Asshat December 31, 2004
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low-resolution hottie

A girl who looks good from a distance, but close-up is actually butters.
I say Crispin, I believe I'd like to dip my wick in that young sort over there. Let's get a closer look.

On closer inspection she's a hound. Sorry old chum, got caught out by a low-resolution hottie.
by Leroy_n_Tyrone October 21, 2009
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Resolution Jogger

One that is easily spotted as having very clean and flashy running apparel. These people have made a new years resolution to jog and lose wait. Sadly 20% will remain after a 2 week period because well, they can always jog tomorrow
Person 1: Woah look at the guy! Is he actually jogging in Edd Hardy athletic suit?
Person 2: That my friend is what we call a resolution jogger at it's finest.
by NAAGP January 13, 2010
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new year's re-resolution

A new year's resolution that has been broken, then re-resolutioned.
I made a new year's resolution to not eat chocolate, but I got chocolate for Valentine's Day and I ate it, so a couple of days later I made a new year's re-resolution to not eat chocolate.
by Snazzy Campbell December 14, 2008
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New Year's Resolution

The bull shit that people say they will when they are hammered 10 mins before the New Years comes. Most of this is forgotten by the 3rd of January.

Most of these "resolutions" are things like, lose weight, eat better, eat less, get a better job other then that casher job at Mc Donalds. Most of these never happen, but when the planets are alined right, still none of these happen.

People who don't have problems in life say, "Fuck that shit, I'm getting a sandwich."
Person with problems: "My New Year's Resolution is to reach a weight under 300 lbs."

Person without problems: "Fuck that shit, I'm getting a sandwich."
by Sire Definition January 1, 2012
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new year's resolution

when a fat person says they're going to loose weight that they never will, and just lie to themselves.
John's New year's resolution was to loose weight, he gave up two days later.
by stuffandstuff January 2, 2011
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