Skip to main content

Corporate paperweight

An employee who adds no value to a company but still gets a paycheck.
That 60 year old guy who don't know how to use computers that works in the it department is a corporate paperweight.

In the movie Office Space Milton is a corporate paperweight.
by Chaosmirage December 28, 2016
mugGet the Corporate paperweight mug.

Electronic paperweight

1. When your phone is in a place where it doesn't have service.

2. When your phone has been cut off due to lack-of-phone-bill-pay
1.
Guy 1: Dude, want to go camping?
Guy 2: Sure, but I'm not bringing my cell phone
Guy 1: Why not, bro?
Guy 2: The lake is a dead zone... My phone is an electronic paperweight up there

2.
Guy 1: Brosef, I tried calling you yesterday but it went straight to voicemail... Turn your phone on!
Guy 2: It is on, but I forgot to pay my phone bill. My phone's an electronic paperweight right now
by Dave-Landon October 11, 2011
mugGet the Electronic paperweight mug.

dutch paperweight

A sexual act where one farts onto another while the victim is lying down. The fart paralyzes them, acting as a paperweight.
I gave Jane the Dutch Paperweight. It was really boring during the sex.
by Señor Heisenberg January 26, 2016
mugGet the dutch paperweight mug.

faggy paper weight

A person who is extremely lazy and sits on other people's desks at work. Also known as FPW.
David came over and sat on my desk for 20 minutes again...he's such a faggy paper weight...
by Intraweb October 14, 2005
mugGet the faggy paper weight mug.

Paperweighting

When a bureaucracy reaches a level of red tape such that it runs in a full circle.

Usually involving a lot of "not my department" and ending, after much effort, back where one began in the process.

This occurs at such a level that not only does it benefit no-one, but it actually costs everyone in the chain.

The term derives from the subjective feeling of unnecessary, nonsensical paperwork actually crushing your chest like a weight, effecting breathing.
1. "Government made emergency funds available for a crisis,

but the b*tches are still paperweighting me; Ima bout t kills a b*atch"

2. Phone call-Line-form-line-phone call-"Charlene"-office in person-line-processing-ID required-lost-relodge-office-line-phone-form-online form-deletion for reapply form-months delay-enquiry form-phone-"Charlene-form..."
by DrJJRhc February 13, 2013
mugGet the Paperweighting mug.

Paper-Weight

A fat girl that marries someone from another country for the sole purpose of him getting his citizenship papers.
"Aisha got married to a guy from Canada so he can get his citizenship papers, she's such a paper-weight."
by alpinegh March 16, 2016
mugGet the Paper-Weight mug.

Paper Weight

Noun: A useful person that isn't helpful enough.
Oh thank you Uimet for triggering the boss. We appreciate your bunny ears but that doesn't make you deserving of fucking up and being immune to criticism, you fucking paper weight.
by Endo-Chan February 18, 2020
mugGet the Paper Weight mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email