moistress

Old, ragged out, shit box of a boat that no amount of horsepower will ever make it fast. Usually has a wet transom and stringers and TRS drives. Typically owned by bald, overweight middle aged men.

Timmy is out crushing waves in his Moistress again today.

by bigbloc540 May 9, 2017

Heat-seeking moisture missile

An incredibly large, erect penis. Syn: dick, third leg, throbbing python of love,
Ant: prick

Launch the heat-seeking mositure missile!

by Chaoslight November 11, 2003

heat seeking moisture missile

A name for the penis

John's heat seeking moisture missile was probing Sally's cooch.

by mafioso March 23, 2003

Moisture Industry

Synonym for a male's sex life. Used to obscure the subject of the conversation when around others (girlfriends, parents, eavesdroppers etc.).

Example 1:

Tom: Cuz, I heard you got that hot chick to go back to your place last night, how'd that work out??

Sharif: Yeah right dude, the moisture industry is taking a beating in this economy.

Example 2:

Tom: Yo kid, you and Jen been hangin out a lot recently, what's up with that?

Sharif: For real, thank god the moisture industry is back on the rise, I was just about to turn gay.

by TeaOhEm October 14, 2011

Moisturebating

When a person is moisturizing with no premeditated intent for self pleasure, but then realizes they are naked, alone, and have a lubricant.

After a brisk walk my inner thigh was slightly chaffed so I grabbed the lotion and before I knew it I was Moisturebating.

by Saltine Nachos February 20, 2009

Heat Seeking Moisture Missle

Slang word for Penis

My heat seeking moisture missle would love a run in with your kitty tonight.

by Tj Xanovaria October 11, 2004

Moisture Spine

Politically correct way to say Wet back

That guy swam the Rio Grande and is an illegal Moisture Spine.

by americanpride in nd October 29, 2010