literality

The quality or condition of being afflicted with a terminal inability to read-between-the-lines and only comprehend concepts and situations in a strict non-figurative sense.

She: “Hey sexy let’s go knock boots.”
He: “What do you mean?”
She: “Why don’tcha marinate the nether rod in the squish mitten…”
He: "You wanna what?"
She: “Wanna ‘Wham’ your ‘Oingo Boingo’ into my ‘Velvet Underground’?”
He: “Huh?”
She: “Come take the love luge on the inbound loin line”
He: “Pardon?”
She: “Tiptoe through my two lips…?”
He: “Ummm…I’m lost”
She: “Your literality drives me nuts...grab some imagination and gimme’ a clunge-plunge already!”

by KissMyKooch June 15, 2009

Literate

Able to read and write in one's native language. The opposite of 'literate' is 'illiterate'.

You're not smart. You're not even literate!

by Diggity Monkeez February 13, 2005

literally

literally, actually, really, seriously, not figuratively

Person: i'm literally a polar bear

by batrider January 09, 2012

Liter

1. a unit of metric measurement
2. as demonstated in "Super Troopers", shorthand notation (in French) for 'gimme some fuckin cola!'

1.
damn, deez here litre bottlez is chuggalious

2.
Farva: you know what i want? a liter of cola. liter's french for GIMME SOME FUCKIN COLA!

by Anonymous October 07, 2003

literally

People often confuse this word with figuratively.

-Dude, you figuratively died of embarassment, you illiterate dipshit.

by Built2Spill November 17, 2004

literally

A four syllable word used by monkeys to add emphasis and impress people. Monkeys who use the word don't understand what it means.

Dude: If that monkey says literally one more time I'll stomp him.
Chick: Literally?
Dude: Well, no.

by yarwknil March 29, 2010

Literally

Often used on Facebook by idiots. Adverb carrying the meaning of 'figuratively'. In real life means 'literally'.

OMG my phone its literally blowin up wit texts rite now.

by SarcasticBastard November 04, 2011