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Mitch Hedberg

- Dogs are forever in the push up position.
- I cant wear turtlenecks, it's like being strangeld by a really weak guy, all fucking day. When I wear a turtleneck and a backpack, i think a weak midget is trying to take me down.
by Chris, bitch April 24, 2004
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Mr. Herbert

The elderly neighbor of the Griffin family who fantasizes about teenage boys, especially Chris Griffin.
Mr. Herbert: Chris, can you come over and help me with something?
Chris: Sure Mr. Herbert!
Mr. Herbert: Hurry up now! Mmmmmmmmm....
by pushi kuratz June 30, 2008
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Related Words

herbert the pervert

Dude Herbert offered me some candy this morning and said come on I just wanna lick ya Herbert the pervert means: I WANT YOOUU
by Http/www.UrbanDictionary.com February 24, 2015
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Mr. Herbert

The aging, pedophile neighbor of the Griffin family on Family Guy who creeps on teenage boys. He speaks in a high-pitched voice and whistles his S's. The other characters, for whatever reason, are usually not suspicious of him.
Mr. Herbert- Excuse me, I'm looking for a car that's been tricked out to look like an ice cream truck.

Brian- Dammit... I'm, I'm sorry, what?

Mr. Herbert- You know, with colorful pictures of ice cream treats. And it plays a tune that's fun for the young children? Da da da duh, da duh, da duh, da da duh da da duh, da duh... duh. Mmmmmmm.
by Bunquita February 27, 2011
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Eric Helberg

some kid from the boys and girls club summer camp
"yo, its eric helberg! wanna play kickball?"
by jamesjugglesjam February 14, 2021
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justin herbert

The best rookie quarterback ever. He was drafted in 2020. He played for the Oregon Ducks in college and now plays for the LA Chargers in the NFL. He is known for his hair, arm strength, and being humble and shy. Justin is overall a good guy.
Dude, did you see Justin Herbert score the game winning touchdown last night? It was amazing!!!
by Yeet Mcskeet January 8, 2021
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mitch hedberg

This guy is funny as shit. He must be stoned 24-7 to come up with the things he does. Buy his CD.
I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it

I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughtnut...I don't need a receipt for the doughnut - I give you money and you give me the doughnut, end of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this. I can't imagine a scenario that I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. To some skeptical friend, Don't even act like I didn't buy a doughnut, I've got the documentation right here...

opened up a container of yogurt, and under the lid it said Please Try Again because they were having a contest I was unaware of. But I though I might have opened the yogurt wrong...or maybe Yoplait was trying to inspire me, 'c'mon, Mitchell, don't give up. Please try again. A message of inspiration from your friends at Yoplait. Fruit on the bottom, hope on top.

I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shishkabobs.

The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how much I play, I'll never be as good as a wall. I played a wall once. They're fucking relentless.

An escalator can never break. It can only become stairs. You would never see an "Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order" sign, just "Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience."

Because of dropping Acid, I know now that butter is way better than margarine. I saw through the bullshit.
by dolphin March 8, 2005
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