Fum

Acronym of "Fucked-Up Man"

For use when:
a) Girlfriend dumps you for cheating with her cat. (wait... WTF?)
b) Caught stealing (free) unattended samples at the supermarket.
c) When you drink toilet water soup, made by your 4-year old.
... or whenever you get fucked (at school, while driving, on the mattress, etc.)
I am officially a fum.

God, he is such a fum.
by timmyaung July 21, 2010
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fumming

The act of being fummy. To bludge. What one does at work after Friday's pub-lunch. Doing bugger all and dragging everyone else down with you.

Another, less common, form of fumming involves sitting next to a colleague while he is on the phone to a customer and scrawling all over his notepad whilst giggling. The notepad should end up containing a crude caricature of the colleague's sister with the words, "Please wear pants to my party" in a speech bubble. This slightly more obscure form of fumming can often be the most effective as both parties usually end up imploding in a fit of giggles.
The Letter M: "So, Soulless Ginge, what have you done today?"
Soulless Ginge: "Nothing mate. I've been fumming all day today."
The Letter M: "Okay. Let's sit around with Angry Italian and make knob jokes."
by The Letter M May 02, 2006
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Fum

When a male reaches orgasm and begins to ejackulate into their mate. Suddenly a uncontrollable release of gas from the anus is released with each ejackulate squirt.
Male: sorry babe. I fumed again.

Female: yea, that was weird.
by Nathanvancity February 25, 2014
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Fum

Pre-Cum, a fluid that is discharged from a penis when it's aroused and usually occurs right before ejaculation.
by NotSamC December 04, 2021
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FUM

A fum is a fat ugly midget, it’s someone who is annoying or being annoying and is commonly used as an insult
Hey stop being such a fum

“OMG isabella and taryn are such fums
‘Yeah I know right, they’re such fat ugly midgets’
by Trinitystant September 01, 2020
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Fum

I was at the store when I accidentally fummed in my pants.
by Vengermaximus August 08, 2011
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fum

A fum is a musical instrument,consisting of a rubber band stretched across a cat's ass,and played with one's tongue.
"He couldn't win America's Got Talent,even if he played the fum while riding the unicycle nude!"
by evilstevil August 05, 2009
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