fortune cookie

My fortune cookie had the local animal shelter's phone number listed on it.....oh SHIT!!!

What future does your fortune cookie bring?

by but the food was so good I didn't know. September 25, 2003

fortune cookie

the post-coital act of putting a used condom back into the vagina, ideally without the girl's knowledge......a great practical joke !!

when she awoke in the morning and used the bathrom she found the fortune cookie i left her.

by MORGAN August 11, 2003

fortune cookie

The cheapest possible meal you can buy a woman so she will sleep with you. If you play it right, you can get her to pay for her meal, give her the cookie, and tell her some smooth romantic bullcrap that she can't read her fortune until she eats at least half the cookie. Stare into her eyes deeply. Classic line + clueless chick = free sex. This usually works best on desperate ugly women.

I gave Mary a fortune cookie and told her that she couldn't read the fortune until she ate half the cookie. Oh yeah, she bought it!

by D December 3, 2003

fortune cookie

cookie shaped like moon if moon was made out of cookie dough. fortune shaped like a fortune.

"What's the fortune in your fortune cookie, Alexandra?"
"Fortune?"

by Alexandra January 27, 2003

Fortune cookie

Toilet paper that is stuck in your wife's ass-crack.

Last night I rolled my wife over for some booty time and saw she had a fortune cookie.

by Frank Palace November 23, 2011

fortune cookie

An overweight person bending in any direction. Refers to the similarity of the take-out dessert and the pinched skin between folds visible above the jeans or below the shirt.

The fortune cookie in front of me at Regal clearly did not need extra butter.

by Gee Dee Bee January 14, 2008

fortune cookie

They taste like poop and smell like it,too.

Johnny opened up his fortune cookie and it said "No matter what college or university you go to,your still gonna end up getting a crappy job"

by TheWiggidy November 4, 2003