Florida
Florida: God's waiting room.
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Scott: *lights firworks on 4th of July*
Old-fucking-neighbor: *calls cops*
Scott: YOU FUCKING BITCH!
Old-fucking-neighbor: turn your music down
Scott: FUCK YOU! *bird*
Old-fucking-neighbor: *calls cops*
Scott: *takes paintball gun outside*
Old-fucking-neighbor: *worries* *calls cops*
Scott: FFS! Go fucking retire somewhere!
Scott: awww shit, thats what your doing now!?
Old-fucking-neighbor: *calls cops*
Scott: YOU FUCKING BITCH!
Old-fucking-neighbor: turn your music down
Scott: FUCK YOU! *bird*
Old-fucking-neighbor: *calls cops*
Scott: *takes paintball gun outside*
Old-fucking-neighbor: *worries* *calls cops*
Scott: FFS! Go fucking retire somewhere!
Scott: awww shit, thats what your doing now!?
florida by Scott (Dark) April 5, 2005
Florida
Its Heaven and Hell down here. I know since I lived here my whole life. Unlike the stereotype, we dont only have palm trees, its not always sunny but it alway rains and its always hot exept in January when it gets down to the 40's or rarely the high 30's (how the hell do you guys up north stand it?!?),we dont go to the beach every day but at least once a week if there isn't something in the water (shit, trash, fatass people in the water, etc.), and its not overun by old people (they live in north florida but I and most people in south florida don't really care about N. FL.).
What is true is that there is always hotass chicks wearing thongs around to have sex with, during summer there's always fat tourists everyware you turn buying overpriced shit, complaning how hot it is, and wearing things on the beach you should never wear.
Downtown Miami is drug central and the worlds biggest pawn shop. You need some dope, got it. You need an Usi or two, got it too. You need a hit, already done.
Most people who drive down here seam to have never gotten a drivers license. Theres the asshole who goes in the turning lane and nearly fishtails you, the old people who drive 30 mph on the highway, the chicks that just talk on their cellphone and cut clean across from the far right lane to the left turning lane, nearly causing a huge crash, and the guy who drives 30 mph on a 45 mph road but should be going around 50+ if there's no police around and when you try and pass him, he speeds up and stops you from passing if there's a faster car in the other lane.
We don't all live in apartments. I live in a two story house in the suberbs in Pembroke Pines which you probably never heard of. Its like houses in other states but are painted in a wide veriety of colors, no cibneys since we got a/c, and no basements since if you make a hole for one it will just fill with water and become an indoor swimming pool.
We don't care so much about hurricanes unless its a strong cat. 3 or a 4 or 5 coming straight for us like Andrew or last year's, Wilma. The rest are just annoyances that give us a day off from school and work. The only people that go crazy when a 1-3 hurricane comes in are tourists and people who just moved here and never been in a hurricane.
We need to get rid of Jeb Bush, FCAT, lazy tourists, F.E.M.A., crappy teachers, old people driving, satellite tv since the satellites always get destroyed in any hurricane, dumbass driving, racist police who somehow out of all the people on the road, pull over the black guy and says he did 90 on a 45 road, and Hummers. I mean seriously, what do you need it for? There's no hills or mountains here so you never use any SUV for its real purpose and most people don't get it for putting big stuff in so all you have it for is to look like you got some cash to burn on buying gas few miles for 2.25 per gallon at Cosco cause Shell is expencive, all other places are full and noone likes bp.
Overall its not a bad a place to live if you can deal with some of the downsides.
What is true is that there is always hotass chicks wearing thongs around to have sex with, during summer there's always fat tourists everyware you turn buying overpriced shit, complaning how hot it is, and wearing things on the beach you should never wear.
Downtown Miami is drug central and the worlds biggest pawn shop. You need some dope, got it. You need an Usi or two, got it too. You need a hit, already done.
Most people who drive down here seam to have never gotten a drivers license. Theres the asshole who goes in the turning lane and nearly fishtails you, the old people who drive 30 mph on the highway, the chicks that just talk on their cellphone and cut clean across from the far right lane to the left turning lane, nearly causing a huge crash, and the guy who drives 30 mph on a 45 mph road but should be going around 50+ if there's no police around and when you try and pass him, he speeds up and stops you from passing if there's a faster car in the other lane.
We don't all live in apartments. I live in a two story house in the suberbs in Pembroke Pines which you probably never heard of. Its like houses in other states but are painted in a wide veriety of colors, no cibneys since we got a/c, and no basements since if you make a hole for one it will just fill with water and become an indoor swimming pool.
We don't care so much about hurricanes unless its a strong cat. 3 or a 4 or 5 coming straight for us like Andrew or last year's, Wilma. The rest are just annoyances that give us a day off from school and work. The only people that go crazy when a 1-3 hurricane comes in are tourists and people who just moved here and never been in a hurricane.
We need to get rid of Jeb Bush, FCAT, lazy tourists, F.E.M.A., crappy teachers, old people driving, satellite tv since the satellites always get destroyed in any hurricane, dumbass driving, racist police who somehow out of all the people on the road, pull over the black guy and says he did 90 on a 45 road, and Hummers. I mean seriously, what do you need it for? There's no hills or mountains here so you never use any SUV for its real purpose and most people don't get it for putting big stuff in so all you have it for is to look like you got some cash to burn on buying gas few miles for 2.25 per gallon at Cosco cause Shell is expencive, all other places are full and noone likes bp.
Overall its not a bad a place to live if you can deal with some of the downsides.
South Florida has its ups and downs but is still an nice place to live if you pick the right palce to live since all the cities are different.
P.S.: Does all the gas stations up north got some dude fill your car up for you? I know its true in New Jersey but not down here. Just wanted to through that out.
P.S.: Does all the gas stations up north got some dude fill your car up for you? I know its true in New Jersey but not down here. Just wanted to through that out.
florida
Homer simpson: We can't go to Florida... thats America's wang! *points at the dick-like state of Florida*
florida
DeSantis' drunk mistress was florida all over the inauguration party.
His best man was so drunk he florida'd that speech about the groom's sexcapades.
The state of Florida really florida'd another election with another florida of a recount.
His best man was so drunk he florida'd that speech about the groom's sexcapades.
The state of Florida really florida'd another election with another florida of a recount.
florida by #RogerStone November 15, 2018
florida
The only state in the U.S. where the number of natural disasters in a year is more than the number of smart politicians.
Florida
A northern state that over time drifted to the south. A state that is filled with 80 year olds driving 35 on the interstate in Cadillacs and Buicks.
Sam wanted to visit Florida for the hot girls but all he saw was saggy old ladies in one piece bathing suits.