crystipated

Crystipated: a condition common among the working class...when you need to cry...you want to cry...you SHOULD be crying...but you can't. Your eyes may fill up, but tears will not fall. The pain of a regular life has killed your body's only natural outlet of sorrow. Your heart may be cold and dead. Nobody knows this but you.

When Melissa is crystipated for too long, she will lash out in a fit of rage. If she were smart like Roberta, she would watch "Terms of Endearment" or "Steel Magnolias" and have herself a good cry, thus eliminating the threat of rage.

by Jay Squirrel February 15, 2017

Constipated fart

The inability to successfully produce an effortless secretion of intestinal gas through the anus.

Warning** -The deliberate forcing of said constipated fart can result in undesirable faecal matter

I didn't know if I had a constipated fart or not, so I sat on the toilet and pushed,but nothing came out; not even a wisp of air. Therefore, I pushed with even greater force until a sudden release of unpleasant gas was excreted.

by Alekatie June 25, 2010

Constipated Network

A computer network that is so congested or overloaded that data transfers at extremely slow speeds.

I can't even open facebook, we must be suffering from a constipated network.

by Just_D_in_aus August 18, 2009

Constipated Bottle

When a bottle of lotion, toothpaste, or other product that comes in a bottle, wont come out and you have to squeeze it with your hands really hard for it to come out. Usually when its down to the last drop. You have to just keep pushing and squeezing but it will come out eventually.

Guy 1: I cant get the ketchup out of this stupid bottle
Guy 2: dude give it to me *takes bottle*
Guy 1: i don't know if you can its constipated
Guy 2: *grunt* your right its a constipated bottle

by ThatsHot95 May 13, 2010

constipated

When it feels like you have a tennis ball sized rock in your anus and you just want to relieve yourself of it, but when you sit on the toilet and strain it doesn't come out because it's rock hard and your anus cannot stretch wide enough for it to come out without tearing. Also the reason why I have a hemroid that I'm severely self conscious about & I refuse to have sex with anyone until it shrinks.

FUCK! I've had to shit for days but I'm constipated. I almost feel like puking the turd out.

by Turd Expert April 20, 2009

fashion constipated

when faced with many outfit/fashion choices, knowing that u have the means and inspiration inside you but lack the potential outlet... and don't have the force for that one extra push... pun intended

i have loads of ideas floating in my head right now
its just that i cant pin one down 'cause i want to wear my new levis and the top i bought from playlife with it. but i want to wear a dress. but i want to wear a skirt. i feel fashion constipated and that's worse than being actually constipated!

by nix23889 January 18, 2008

emotionally constipated

the extreme inability to handle or process any emotions.

This girl I knew was so emotionally constipated, she couldn't even cry.

by ChrisSBU November 8, 2008