Calculus 

A branch of mathematics that is only useful for people trying to enter into certain fields of work, for the rest, it's completely useless. Sadly, universities in the United States require people in fields that have nothing to do with math to take this class in order to graduate, thus lowering there gpa, and making them seem less qualified as a result of a poor mark in a class that has nothing to do with their future career.

Dick: Ahhhh, so stressed!!!
Jane: whats wrong?
Dick: Ah nothing, just gotta a lot of calculus homework
Jane: Why are you taking calculus, aren't you trying to become a physical therapist?
Dick: Ya I am, but I have to take calculus in order to graduate.
Jane: Wow, that makes no sense

Calculus by tikwah April 6, 2011

calculus 

Calculus is a branch of mathematics, developed independently by Newton and Leibniz and formalized in the 19th century by various mathematicians, that revolutionized human understanding of the world. Mathematically, it allows us to talk about instantaneous rates of change and areas under arbitrary curves. Doesn't sound important? When does anyone use this? Differential equations, which express the relation between two quantities in terms of how they change with respect to one another, allow us to model situations in which we cannot explicitly find the relationship between quantities. This concept can be applied to model situations in physics, engineering, chemistry (how does this reaction progress?), physiology (how does a muscle contract?)...just about any science, as well as economics, sociology (how do new ideas spread?), and more. If you want to understand the world today, you need to understand calculus. Statistics too...but that's another story.

Calculus is not some super-hard subject that only the most brilliant can handle. If you have a good teacher who explains things precisely, you can learn calculus. (Finding such a teacher, unfortunately, can be the hard part.)

Guy 1: I have to go to calculus class now.
Guy 2: Calculus? That sucks.
Guy 1: No it doesn't. I'm finally learning math that I can apply -- you can't be an engineer without it!

calculus by Daniel M May 13, 2006

calculus 

Usually the highest level of math taught at high schools. Must be taken by those considering to major in engineering, math or physics.

Otherwise, should still be taken to make transcript look better.

"I'm taking AP Calculus my senior year. I think it'll give me more options for college."

calculus by AbnormalBoy April 19, 2004

calculus 

A subject within mathematics usually taught in final years of high school that's overused by the media, as of 2008, to describe any circumstance where various decisions would result in various outcomes (which is true for any decision simple or complex).

Most often used in the phrase "....the calculus of..."

Article title: "The Calculus of Union Strikes"

"What do Steven Chu and John Holdren have to say about the calculus of corn-based ethanol, and its impact on biodiversity in farm country" from the NY Times

"The calculus of reward and punishment in this world is surely more complex than sin equals cancer." from MSNBC

calculus by shgraider January 1, 2009

Calculus 

Another name for masturbating which is used as a joke or as a way to say it around other people without them knowing. This can get confusing when one person is actually taking a calc course. It must be used in entirety meaning calculus work and calc cannot be used in this way.

Dude - I really need to do some calculus tonight

Chick - So have you done your calculus yet?
Dude - Nope, you want to do some with me?

Calculus by SexyOffender April 6, 2010

Calculus 

Best thing since sex, possibly better

"Hey, dude, have you seen the calculus questions?"
"Yeah, I know, I just jizzed!"
"Me too."

Calculus by Gary Halsden October 27, 2009

Calculus 

The closest atheists will ever be to Hell.

Following laws preventing cruel and unusual punishment, civilians no longer have the ability to be sentenced to calculus.

Calculus by spaghet clown November 8, 2022