ass cactus

A large, nut-filled turd that hurts the ass upon exit.

Man, that crap hurt! It was a real ass cactus!

by Bigsteve February 24, 2005

Cactus Hole

The prickly, itchy and often painful and scratchy state of the asshole after being shaved and the stubble starts to reappear.

My finger stank all week long cause I got the cactus hole.

Her damn cactus hole just about rubbed me raw last night when I took that ass to pound town.

My cactus hole was so bad that I asked our housekeeper to shave my bung.

by Dick Onchin September 2, 2020

Cactus Humper

When a person the shaves their nederlands and it grows back to a stub and tears up their partner.

Man my g/f really turned me into a Cactus Humper last night.

by BoXeR311 January 9, 2005

Poo Cactus

Poo Cactus is the World's Largest Giant Anal Spiked Dildo. Leaves your asshole dripping blood and looking like a wizard's sleeve.

Dimensions:

Cactus (shaft) - 18in. long x 6in. diameter
Spikes - 3in. long (protruding from 'cactus' from multiple angles)

Poo Cactus is exactly the product you need if you feel your anal sex has been lacking those intense, noticeable sensations.
The bold, true-to-life size and tissue-ripping 3 inch metal spikes are guaranteed to have your anus throbbing for at least 3 days after use!*

*May vary based on proper bandaging of the anal walls and healing time (the pace at which your anus repairs itself). If you find you are recovering too fast for your liking, we recommend more aggressive usage.

Pooooooo Cactus!
The best cactus in the world!
Pooooooo Cactus!
Penetrating the asshole of every boy and every girl!

Example 2:
Rick: Dude you might have a serious injury, your ass is leakin' mad blood.
Greg: Nah it's all good, I tried Poo Cactus the other day. Still feeling it now, 3 days and I haven't stopped bleeding.
Rick: Holy shit, dude...
Greg: Yea it works like a charm!
Rick: Awesome! I wanna try, can I borrow yours?
Greg: Yea!
Rick: Yea!

by Anal Bleeder 429 September 9, 2010

cartisexual

when you are sexually attracted to playboi carti. carti is the persons reason to live. in math their solution. in history their king. and in science their oxygen. this magnificent human being will give his life for carti. (note: carti is fucking hot)

me: omg carti is so hot 😩 the things i would do😩😩😩
some mid person: he’s not even that good
me: STFU CARTI JUST MOANED IN MY EAR
mid person: why you like him so much?
me: he’s the goat and i am now cartisexual

by Karimvelez November 30, 2021

cactus balls

The effect of not having shaved your usually clean shaven testicles for enough time that they grow short unwanted stubs.

Man, I have cactus balls, and it itches like hell.

by DirtyMexcian October 1, 2010

Dry Cactus

one who doesn't put out; someone who, when in a relationship, refuses to engage in PDA; a public prude;

I hear Dori is a dry cactus with her boyfriend

by washyohands March 11, 2011