ASSUME (ass u me)

Assume and you think you know what somebody wants or needs, you’ll be wrong

When you ASSUME (ass u me) you make a ‘ass’ out of ‘u’ and ‘me’

by Ramin99 September 22, 2018

assumption song

There was a old farmer who lived on a rock. He sat in the meadow just shaking his...fist at some boys who were down by the creek, there feet in the water their hands on their...marbles and play things, and at half past four, there came a young lady she looked like a...pretty young creature, she sat on the grass, she pulled up she dress, and showed them her...ruffles and laces, and white fluffy duck, she said she was learning a new way to...bring up her children, so they would not spit, while the boys in the barn yard were shoveling...refuse and litter from yesterdays hunt, while the girl in the meadow was rubbing her...eyes at the fellow, down by the dock, he looked like a man with a sizeable...home in the country, with a big fence out front, If he asked her politly she'd show him her...little pet dog who was subject to fit. and maybe she'd let him grab hold of her...small tender hands, with a movement so quick, and then she'd bend over and suck on his....candy, so tasty, made of butterscotch, and then he spread whipcream all over her...cookies, that she had left out on her shelf.

If you think this is dirty you can go F*** yourself. :)

The assumption song is the funniest thing i've seen on youtube.

by NoobUser!!!!!!11!!!!!!!1!one!1 April 4, 2009

Reverse Assimilation

The act of an individual, group or nation assimilating to the culture of immigrant populations rather than the immigrant populations assimilating to the culture of the host nation.

Guy 1. "When Abdul and his family moved into the street we thought they may like to join in and be a part of our community. Instead some of our liberal neighbors converted to Islam and now demonize what is left of our community."

Guy 2. "Yeah well, that's reverse assimilation for you.."

by TradWaman March 6, 2019

assimilatex

A combination of noun and verb describing the simultaneous action of changing to and state of being latex. Of or having the quality of being covered in latex. Coined by Mike Watson February 1, 2010.

You will be assimilatex.

by Polymathink February 3, 2010

Assfumble

Running into a man and dropping your things as a result. Mark Sanchez is prone to assfumbling, but an assfumble can happen on the street. Walking into a man and dropping your bag or running towards the line of scrimmage and hitting your offensive lineman in the ass, fumbilng.

Football Example: Mark Sanchez has the ball, he makes contact with his lineman, assfumble! Patriots have the ball! Patriots have the ball!

Everyday example: Man, I was walking to the store when I ran into a guy and totally assfumbled my phone.

by Jesus Christ of the LDS December 6, 2012

ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL

An event that occurs when a Collector Drone in the video game Mass Effect 2 is possessed by Harbinger, the main villain of the game. It is one of his constantly repeated one-liners designed to intimidate you and it generally fails in that respect. Can be used to indicate that you have had your mind and body taken over by an alien consciousness.

Billy: Hey Jim, want to go to the cinema?

Jim: No i'm good.

Billy: ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL.

Jim: Is something the matter?

Billy: YOUR FORM IS FRAGILE. WE WILL DIRECT THIS ONE PERSONALLY. WE ARE THE HARBINGER OF YOUR ASCENSION. I KNOW YOU FEEL THIS. IF I HAVE TO TEAR YOU APART SHEPARD I WILL. YOU HAVE ATTRACTED THE ATTENTION OF THOSE INFINITELY YOUR GREATER.

Jim: No need to be a bitch about it..

Billy: YOU HAVE FAILED.

by HARBINGEROFYOURDESTRUCTION February 21, 2010

Asspump

This means anyone who is a knee-jerk Neocon, a rude person, someone who has no filter between the brain and mouth, someone who likes to dis people they consider "inferior" to themselves. Someone who has chronic diarrhea of both the brain and the mouth.

Tom: "I can't believer Bill stiffed her for the tip."
Doug: " Yeah, what an asspump."

by Jimbojones 55 March 31, 2010