Jesus Bless You

A phrase commonly said when someone sneezes in the presence of a christ killer, to bring guilt to their souls for their terrible actions.

*Jew walks into the room*
Billy: ACHOOOO!
Everyone else: JESUS BLESS YOU!

by Kaspermacus May 6, 2011

Jesus fucking christ

A statement of pure, raw, and utter disbelief. Usually used when you see something absolutely fucking cursed and you can't think of anything asides from "Jesus Fucking Christ."

"So, bro. Did you hear about the whole accident where that kid blew up an entire fucking supermarket?"

"..."

"Bro, you okay?"

"Jesus Fucking Christ.

by RiceOfCourse November 26, 2022

50 shades of jesus

A sex story between Jesus and his followers made by a sinning fuck face. and who also wants to piss of his/her parents because they are christian.

Hey did you read the sequel of 50 shades of Jesus? "50 more shades of jesus"

by Blue_Amore June 8, 2018

Jesus H. Christ

The name of our lord and savior, Jesus Henry Christ.

Jesus H. Christ! my balls itch like the Dickens.

by Nunyabizppq December 6, 2019

House hunting with Jesus

A near death experience where you are so close to death that you are picking out your final eternal home with your metaphorical savior.

It took the paramedics forever to get Jake back. Guy was house hunting with Jesus for a 20 solid minutes.

by Kungfu Panda Express December 10, 2020

jesus jerk off

After finishing nonutnovember and glancing at the picture of Jesus being crucified you immediately cream your jimmies. Such an event happens ounce every blue moon and is usually followed by an isis beheading.

Damn bro I had a jesus jerk off last night I was cleaning it up for hours.

by Overitus_Manhadalitus February 5, 2018

Jesus Christ on a crutch!

Simply means, "O fuck!" or, "O shit!".

Jesus Christ on a crutch! you shouldn't have done that.

by Telephony2 June 29, 2023