Cockney Wanker

Someone from London, usually second hand car salesmen, who read the sun newspaper, call all women " dawlin' " (trans: darling) and general ponce about the place like they are something special.

Cor Blimey Guvnah, I'm a cockney wanker, and no mistake!

by Mike Read July 27, 2003

wanderful

adjective to describe a person who randomly roams, wanders, meanders, rambles, stumbles, or strays in a fulltime mode. Can also be used to describe the mind.

Useful in decribing one with attention deficit tendencies.

Abra's wanderful personality has resulted in a number of missed appointments and delayed completion of the tasks at hand.

by Abra La Mente December 2, 2009

Bed wanker

One who masterbates in bed then rolls around repeatedly in one bodly fluid.

Dude you're a filthy bed wanker, full of crusty cum.

by The forbidden sacrifice. March 9, 2011

wankered

To be drunk beyond the point of even drunken rationality, one actually believes that inducing more alcohol will make them feel better

I got totally wankered last night and threw up over my brown brogues

by Crispin Whattley September 13, 2005

Ebay wanker

A person who masturbates to pictures of used underwear auctions on ebay possibly because they cannot access any other internet porn or because they have a used underwear fetish.

"Pink silk panties size XX large, no reserve" -- Sounds like ebay wanker bait!

by Rut January 29, 2006

wanker

A commonly used Australian/british/new zealand word used to describe a fuckball, jerk, asshole or jackass.
Another word for tosser, which is usually reffered to when someone is being a tool or a complete dick. The term is usually asscossiated with one who masturbates regularly. Often reffered to as having a wank, hence the term wanker (one who wanks).

mike:"oi dickhead move ya fuckin car outta the way...ya blockin the traffic ya fuckin wanker!"

Jack:"Yea have a wank will ya mate!"

by u r cool April 19, 2005

Briefcase wanker

A phrase used to insult somebody carrying a briefcase.
Can be shortened to 'briefcase' or 'brief'.

"You briefcase wanker!"

"Stop being a briefcase."

"What are you doing Ben, you brief."

by brianurlacher54 December 16, 2008