shoelace express

The means of transportation you employ when walking somewhere.

"I've been taking the shoelace express to work ever since that bitch wrecked my car."

by Sean February 16, 2005

shit off a shovel

Very Fast.

In the days when trains had a driver and a fireman to load coal and it was necessary to answer a call of nature you would shit on the coal shovel and then throw it in the fire as quick as possible because of smell and hygiene. As the shovel had coal dust on it, the shit did not stick. Interestingly the same shovel could be cleaned with steam and could be used to cook bacon and eggs.

A motorcyclist in a collision. He shot off his bike like shit off a shovel.

That car is fast it goes like shit off a shovel.

An orange VW caravanette, with Subaru impreza 2L engine, went like shit off a well greased shovel.

by Slangboy January 6, 2006

Michael Showalter

Semi-famous (or perhaps quasi-famous) American comedian and film director. Was a writer and cast member of MTV's sketch comedy show The State, and is a member of the comedy troupe Stella. Also co-wrote and starred in the cult comedy film Wet Hot American Summer. Is currently the host of his own online talk show called The Michael Showalter Showalter.

Michael Showalter is as hilarious as he is underappreciated.

Thanks to Michael Showalter, the word "penisocksor" has entered into my everyday vocabulary.

by BBQ Platypus December 18, 2007

Failure Shower

When you fail at something in life (eg. failing an exam or not getting a job), go home and spend an hour just standing in the shower, propping yourself up against the wall with your eyes on your feet.

Caleb knew the only thing to do after he didnt get prefect was take a failure shower.

by Vikingnz October 27, 2009

burnfoot shower

To spray ones self completely from head to toe in cheap, nasty, smelling deoderant instead of having a proper shower before going out on the town. These type of people tend to be tracksuit wearing, dole hoaching scumbags from the scummiest part (burnfoot) of the scummiest town (hawick)

Burnfoot Scruff - here pal av no hoached enough dole money this week to afford to run the shower so before i hit diesels am gonna need a burnfoot shower.

Pal- aye ma anaw av spent aw ma money on cheap fags and buckie so al need to borrow some o yer asda smart price deodeant anaw.

by the burnfit scruff June 19, 2011

French shower

This is what slobby meth whores and the like do before they go on a date. They may not have access to running water, or they are just plain lazy and they spray cheap perfume on their sweaty, gamey smelling bodies in lieu of a shower. Daughters and wives of pig farmers are well known for this behavior before they go on a date with pickup driving rednecks. Their pussieshave a horrendous odor reminiscent of rotting rough fish on the river bank.

I thought Donna was taking a shower first. I mean, after slopping those sows all day. The smell of cheap perfume could have gagged a maggot. When I smelled her gizmo my supper came up. She only took a french shower.

by running out of patience March 27, 2009

Shovel Ready

When a man or woman is so needy for a relationship he/she will believe just about any bullshit to convince themselves they've found Mr/Ms Right.

Bill: See that woman at the end of the bar?
Bob: Yeah.
Bill: She is so desparate to have a boyfriend that you can easily bullshit your way into her panties. Go talk to her, she's shovel ready.

by Ebullient Gideon June 29, 2011