ass-porch

The frequently expansive, region of the body that includes the Einstein-Rosen bridge connecting the rectum to the outside of the body as well as the hyperbolic saddle surface directly adjacent to the ER bridge, that together require at least half a roll of single ply toilet paper to clean after even the smallest amount of feces has traversed the region.

Dad: How’s it going in there? You fall in?
Son: Sorry dad, I wanted to make sure I cleaned the ass-porch but now I have shit all over everything. I got some on my balls, on my fingers, a few globs on the floor and even some on the mirror. I probably need a power washer to get it all squared up.
Dad: Got it! You probably both wiped back and front too much and broke off a piece that was still McConnelling in the ERB.

by dgRonbo April 12, 2021

Porch dweller

Someone that enjoys thier free time outside but also enjoys the comfort of their own home.

Porch dwellers are typically found sitting outside their front door or just outside their garage/barn.

Favorite activities include people watching and scoffing at loud or over the top vehicles that drive by.

Porch dwellers can also be found in the country typically watching the clouds or listening to the winds of nature.

I'm worried that frank doesn't have a job, he is such a porch dweller. I don't think I have ever seen him not sitting outside.

by Jaxson Sav May 31, 2022

back-porching

the magnificant art of when a male is lucky enough to be granted the oppertunity to explore the depths of a females poop chute.
also see, front-porching

me: watcha wanna do tonight? *giggles*
dan: mhmm, i was thinking maybe back-porching it baby *grins*
me: okay! i totaly agree!! *bends over*
dan: oh, i fucking love your leaky fish tank *winks*

by Stevie;] January 14, 2008

porch monkey

Lazy person not lazy black person im gona help take it back and reclaim it aswell as many of my freinds are doing we suggest that you do it to try to make a diffrence.

Jack was looking at his neighbors from his porch therefore Jack is a porch monkey.

by J FRO August 25, 2006

Porch Monkey

Derogatory language to describe African Americans who sit on their ass all day and live off food stamps. AKA clay.

I drove through Oakland today, and was shocked at all the porch monkeys that reside there.

by Defrain06 August 18, 2017

porch monkey

Porch Monkey is a lazy black African American that sits on a porch all day drinking, smoking weed, smoking crack, dealing drugs, or keeps a look out for police while commiting illegal activities while being on the porch.

There's a porch monkey doing something illegal.

by Southern Renegade September 24, 2016

porch party

a party that takes place, go figure, on the front porch of a house that involves lots of alcohol, typically thrown by non-frat collage students, hippies and meddle age parents who want to make their kid's friends parents feel inadequate.

it is often used as a way of bragging to random passers-by that those partaking have more free time than them.

Student 1: On my way over here there was a porch party on every block!
Student 2: Damn, it's only Thursday, those lucky bastards!

by SirSquigyXIII April 13, 2017