Bacon Turtle

A Turtle, usually a King Turtle of the Royal Turtle Guard. Also a word for assorted meats shaped like a turtle.

A Bacon Turtle loves bacon and spreads the word and belief of Bacon. Bacon Turtles and Turtles alike are enemies of the Panda Army and the Penguin Union. The King Bacon Turtle was defeated at The Puffin-Koala Gap by the Pan-da Warriors in PANDA 7 (Panda Years), and he later retreated to plot an all-out war on the Panda Army. The Bacon Turtle and his Royal Turtle Guard is no match for the Elite Pan-da Warriors.

The Bacon Turtle began at a humble little wood building on the corner of a busy street, titled: Bacon Turtle & Associates. They sold chocolate-covered bacon and bacon shaped like turtles. Since then, they have grown into a legitomato army. The Bacon Turtle and his associates are the exclusive members of the I Don't Care Club. The Turtle Motto is "Viva la Bacon, TGIF" (Long Live Bacon, Thank God It's Friday).

Bacon Turtle: Kneel before your almighty ruler, the Bacon Turtle!
Panda: No.
Bacon Turtle: Then you will face a life of bacon deprivation. Take him away, Royal Turtle Guard!
Panda: Is this some sort of torture, because I'm not addicted to bacon...
Bacon Turtle: Are you insulting my religion? Do you wish to say that you are against bacon? You will be locked in a room with bacon!
Panda: Free bacon is fine with me...

Epic Meal Time: We're cooking up some BACON, AND TURTLES! THAT MEANS BACON TURTLES!

by Panda Army Representative January 16, 2014

my turtles

Used as a pick-up line to refer to ones own pubic hair(s). pubs bush exotic turtle hairy

Would you like to go look at my turtles, they are pretty exotic.

by Smokey's pubs March 4, 2014

Eating turtle

Term used for eating a vagina that takes a long time to cum.

Kevin- Yo, bro last night I was eating out Sarahs coochi and she didnt cum for 3 hours. My jaw is fucked up

Steve- Eating turtle will do that to you. You have my sympathies.

Girl- Come ova chyea boy and eat dis turtle.
Boy- I dont want to be engulfed in your box for 2 days so.... No.

by BodiesByJustin June 27, 2014

hunting turtle

A robot monster with four legs and a shell and it looks like a turtle but it's not... I learned

Dude I found a strange turtle

That's a hunting turtle... Run

by liner April 5, 2015

full turtle

When something is so awkward/horrifying you pull your shirt, jacket or sweatshirt to cover your face. Normally this contains/disguises your laughing fit.

Someone looked up what truffle butter was, I full turtled for 5 min.

by Reallyallnamesaretaken April 17, 2015

tennessee turtle

When a woman has taken a fresh poop without wiping, and you proceed to put your dick in and out of her ass in a swift motion (like a turtle)

*thoughts from steven* "I wish Catherine would hurry up and get out of the bathroom so I can give her this Tennessee turtle....but what if she wipes? Ha, she better not wipe"

by Dicks in our hands May 14, 2015

sea-turtle

When on the beach and needing to purge from too much alcohol, crawl away from your friends, faceplant into the sand, and vomit. Then cover your mess with sand, crawl over it, and repeat as necessary. Actions mimic those of a swimming sea turtle.

Did you drink too much? You look a little green.
Yeah, I need to sea-turtle. Be right back.

Yeah, I'm going to sea-turtle. Be right back.

by mocyeah88 August 12, 2015