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shitting upstream

In literal terms, it is the act of defecating against the current of a body of water because the circumstances of the situation offer the individual no other option but to poop right then and there in the river. This messy situation, having to poop while submerged in water, is exacerbated by the poor choice of the individual to defecate with his/her backside facing upstream. The current then pushes the feces back in the direction of the defecator and thus makes this already messy situation much messier. In an everyday scenario, this expression means to attempt to improve a desperate situation but in doing so, make the situation worse for oneself.
Example:

Dude 1: How’d it go with Kelly last night? You finally get to bone her before you left for school?
Dude 2: No, I made it worse.
Dude 1: How?
Dude 2: Got myself into the friend zone. I heard she was more into sensitive guys so I tried really hard to be sensitive around her. She ended up telling me I'm a really good person and we should just be friends. I was shitting upstream, man. Now there’s no chance we’re gonna bone, even when we come home for winter vacation.
by PTouch August 21, 2009
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Shit, it's a monkey

Term used my newly naturalised Australians (most notably Scottish) to notify of a koala in the near vicinity.
by That guy over there too November 22, 2010
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Shit Cigar

1. A shit that is shaped like a cigar.

2. Dropping a steamy load in your friend's mouth when they are asleep and setting it alight.
Derek: Hey Gene, last night my friend took a shit cigar in my mouth and now I'm addicted.

Gene: That sucks
by Crunchie Egg May 3, 2009
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spitting shit

speaking words and sentences that do not make sense. Usually while high on marijuana.
Dude your spitting shit i cant understand you.
by $matttttt$ March 22, 2007
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shit walk

The act of clenching ones butt to prevent a leak of the anus. The result of this act makes one do a speeding duck walk to the bathroom.
Dude! That guy had to use the shitter so bad he had to do the shit walk!
by Chris AKA $SPUDZ$ March 11, 2008
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Shit shadow

The phenomenon that occurs when someone breaks wind and then moves from the original location in which they committed their bottom bugle to a secondary position, in doing so dragging the aroma of the trouser trumpet from the first point to the next. A shit shadow is formed between the two points.
Also velcro fart.
Victim: "For pity's sake, have you just farted?"
Culprit: "Don't know what you're talking about"
Victim: "You liar. I've just walked through your shit shadow and it now smells of week old cauliflower in here."
by Joe D Beacon April 7, 2008
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Shit Trees

Trees with bags of dog shit hanging from them
When an owner of a dog takes it for a walk, bags up the dog shit and throws it into a tree where it proceeds to dangle from the branches, therefore producing shit trees. Usually found in rough estates around the UK.
by 2008 Jason H April 10, 2008
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