The French Muffin is the art of defecating into your own hand, molding it into a muffin, and devouring it before it gets cold.

Also refer to French Soup.

Barry loves the French Muffin.

The French Muffin by Jakobeson November 23, 2006

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Pardon My Non-French

Pardon my non-French can be said after one uses a curse word in either polite company, or not-so-polite company. For curse words such as F-Bombs, The "S" Word, and Dam spelled differently are clearly not of French origin--unless you are saying Foutre, Merde, or Zut! Then, perhaps it will be appropriate to use the more conventional, "Pardon my French".

As Suzie is walking into her mother's toenail trimmer shop, she trips and sprains her pinkie finger. "Fuck all! That fucking hurts!" Said Suzie. "Suzie!" "Pardon my Non-French", mum, but that hurt like a motherfucker!"

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In contrast . . . Charlie is perusing the classical pornography gallery, when he stumbles into a display. His trundling clumsiness results in the shattered remnants of a 16th century Faberge didlo - imported from Queen Dinara's private and controversial collection. Upon seeing the previously proud display of faux manhood in shambles, Charlie immediately exclaimed: "Merde!" When he was frowned upon by a tiny old lady wearing rain boots, he promptly corrected himself. "Pardon my French. Der'mo!"

Pardon My Non-French by Jessika Lynn Stone January 8, 2011

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faux french kiss

Where one person takes a drag on a cigarette or weed and then kisses another person sending the smoke into that persons mouth and then out their nose. It's almost impossible to do correctly, but totally classy and sexy once you do.

They faux french kissed on the beach and she thought she knew he was her soul-mate.

faux french kiss by Katie J. December 20, 2004

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