Jon the Goatfucker

Nickname for a person who cannot be taken seriously because of a contemptible act which forever sullies their reputation. Based on an old joke in which a man lists things he doesn't get credit for, instead being nicknamed after one incident of fucking a goat.

Jon: "Nobody gives me credit. I do all this work on statistics, and nobody calls me Jon the Statistician"

Me: "Of course they don't"

Jon: "I pass my PhD and get a research fellowship by kissing ass, but nobody calls me Jon the Research Fellow"

Me: "Surprise, surprise..."

Jon: "But you fuck one goat..."

Me: "Yes, but it wasn't just ONE goat was it you fucking cunt, you fuck goats day in day out, you don't eat or sleep or mow the lawn you fuck goats all day long, fuck you Jon the Goatfucker"

Jon: "Oh no, I am sad now, I am going to go and slash my wrists like the retarded psychopathic piece of shit I am"

by Anuspounder September 23, 2009

the goatwing

The act of tucking your dick and balls while bending over and simultaneously stretching the skin on your balls to portray a goat with batwing genitalia. This is a combination of the goat and batwing poses, therefore the victim of this sight gets 7 kicks plus the requisite "Fag!"

"Hey, I just gave Bill the goatwing. He's been crying ever since."

by mattyguru August 6, 2007

ride the goatee

To receive oral sex from someone who has a goatee.

Hey Ang, when you coming over to ride the goatee?? You know you wanna!!

by Amangalicious December 17, 2007

consider the goats

When somebody has a plan, but hasn't thought it all the way through; when a person hasn't thought of the consequences of their future actions

Person 1: "Dude, are you going to consider the goats?"
Person 2: "No I guess I haven't. I should probably do that. That's for reminding me bro."

by bleudog2012 December 26, 2014

separate the sheep from the goats

(v.) To divide the workers into two categories- those who want to work, and those who don't. Similar expressions include separate the men from the boys, separate the men from the mice.

I'll need some good workers, and some bad workers. Can you separate the sheep from the goats for me? The sheep will serve as a distraction to our competitors while we get down to business.

by Kung-Fu Jesus June 5, 2004

Raising the goatee

In modern American slang, it means to have a person's goatee raised at someone in a sign of displeasure or contempt. The term, which is a take on the phrase "raised eyebrows", was first brought into popular usage because of the aggressive facial expressions of former Pittsburgh Steelers coach Bill Cowher (who wears a goatee from time to time) to his players and officials from the sidelines of National Football League games during his tenure.

Damn, all I did yo is beat you at darts. Why you raising the goatee at me?

by tbird4441 July 20, 2008

The goats

A feeling of sexual arousal. To be horny

I need to call this girl over . I've got the goats

by backseatnerd October 9, 2016