Skip to main content

Magical Mr. Mistoffelees

You ought to know Mr. Mistoffelees!
The Original Conjuring Cat--
(There can be no doubt about that).
Please listen to me and don't scoff. All his
Inventions are off his own bat.
There's no such Cat in the metropolis;
He holds all the patent monopolies
For performing suprising illusions
And creating eccentric confusions.
At prestidigitation
And at legerdemain
He'll defy examination
And deceive you again.
The greatest magicians have something to learn
From Mr. Mistoffelees' Conjuring Turn.
Presto!
Away we go!
And we all say: OH!
Well I never!
Was there ever
A Cat so clever
As Magical Mr. Mistoffelees!

He is quiet and small, he is black
From his ears to the tip of his tail;
He can creep through the tiniest crack,
He can walk on the narrowest rail.
He can pick any card from a pack,
He is equally cunning with dice;
He is always deceiving you into believing
That he's only hunting for mice.
He can play any trick with a cork
Or a spoon and a bit of fish-paste;
If you look for a knife or a fork
And you think it is merely misplaced--
You have seen it one moment, and then it is gawn!
But you'll find it next week lying out on the lawn.

And we all say: OH!
Well I never!
Was there ever
A Cat so clever
As Magical Mr. Mistoffelees!

His manner is vague and aloof,
You would think there was nobody shyer--
But his voice has been heard on the roof
When he was curled up by the fire.
And he's sometimes been heard by the fire
When he was about on the roof--
(At least we all heard that somebody purred)
Which is incontestable proof
Of his singular magical powers:
And I have known the family to call
Him in from the garden for hours,
While he was asleep in the hall.
And not long ago this phenomenal Cat
Produced seven kittens right out of a hat!
And we all said: OH!
Well I never!
Did you ever
Know a Cat so clever
As Magical Mr. Mistoffelees!
by Mainiac June 12, 2005
mugGet the Magical Mr. Mistoffelees mug.

magical negro

A token black guy in films who fills the stereotype of being impossibly old, wise and sometimes able to actually perform magic. Usually the magical negro is there to give guidance to the main white hero, which may explain why the magical negro stereotype is most popular in movies geared toward a white audience.

Some examples of recent popular negros are:
Chef from South Park, Morgan Freeman, Oracle from the Matrix and Barack Obama.

Some non- black magical negros:
Mr. Miyagi, Jackie Chan, Pai Mei
Hero: Oh no! I have to defeat my enemy and save the world from certain destruction!

Abraham: don' worry chile, im a wise ole sage heeuh tah help ya through alla yo struggles.

Hero: Thank you magical negro, I suddenly feel a lot better. See you at the end of the movie! (walks off to begin quest)

Abraham: crazy chile' (smiles and shakes head reminescing, then disappears in a cloud of smoke)
by Magicalnegro August 15, 2011
mugGet the magical negro mug.
Related Words

Magic School Bus

The act of shitting one's self during roadhead, thereby effectively turning said roadhead into a mobile blumpkin.
I performed the magic school bus on that ratchet ass hoe La'quisha while returning from the KFC. It smelt like the Colonel's rotting corpse, but she kept suckin.
by 8============D~~~~~~~~ April 6, 2015
mugGet the Magic School Bus mug.

Magic Curtain

When you fold a woman’s sloppy beef curtains back into her Vagina to make them disappear, and then you fuck her.
by Birdie Mangan July 19, 2020
mugGet the Magic Curtain mug.

Maggi

The most delicious noodles you could ever eat. The perfect thickness, and only takes 2 minutes to make. No I don’t own maggi and this isn’t sponsored by maggi but maggi is an amazing snacc when ur hungry.
Person: Hey wanna go grab some noodles?
Me: As long if they are maggi noodles!
by snacc bacc August 18, 2020
mugGet the Maggi mug.

studio magic

that thing that can make a guy off the street sound like Chris Brown, or some woman sound like Mariah Carey. That's why singers always sound better on CD than live on-stage.
Guy: Sometimes I wonder why singers always sound different on CD than in real person.
Guy2: Well that's because of studio magic. It can make anybody sound like they sing good. Even insert famous singer here.
Guy: Meanwhile the regular people with real singing talent are practically living in their cubicles or can't get a break.
mugGet the studio magic mug.

magic the gathering

crack in the form of cards

it will consume you....
"I just got a sweet new pack of mtg"
by Nubcakes May 13, 2005
mugGet the magic the gathering mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email