Masturbate

Put some mayonaise on the knuckle sandwich, shake hands with uncle dick

I was putting some mayonaise on my knuckle sandwich when my mom walked in

by Humpty August 17, 2003

pasturbate

verb,to preach about God constantly when no one wants to hear it. I was in a chat room and someone was preaching, calling everyone names and stuff all in the name of God. One of the chatters said he was pasturbating again.

Can't Ted do anything but pasturbate?

by storm871 March 18, 2009

frusturbate

Being caught in the act of masterbation, without having achieved orgasm, and being left frustrated at having to start over.

I was frusturbated after my mom busted me whacking off in the bathroom.

by Douglas PerfectHour February 24, 2005

Masturbate

Waxing the Turtle or shaving the carrot.

Frederick woke up with a boner so he went in the bathroom and waxed his turtle.

He really needed to blow his load so he shaved the carrot in the shower.

"It means masturbate if you haven't got that ar tard!"

by PeckMcGee October 14, 2008

masturbate

*some of the* slang words for masturbation: bashing the candle, Bleeding the weasel, bleedin the weed, buffing the banana, bopping the baloney, burping the worm, choking the chicken, cleaning your rifle, corking the bat, cranking the shank, cuffing the carrot, fisting your mister, flogging your dog, floggin the frog, flogging the hog, flogging the log, flute solo, jerkin'the gherkin, looping the mule, manual override, painting the pickle, pocket pinball, pocket pool, polishing the banister, polishing the rocket, pounding your flounder, pumping the python, roping the pony, spanking the monkey, teasing the weasel, tossing the turkey, walking the dog, whipping the willy, wonking your cronker, yanking the crank, and waxing your carrot.

Now... Banning fantasizing about your neighbors wife? Well what else is a man supposed to think about while he's waxing his carrotmasturbate?
-Source: George Carlin

by Aazn February 20, 2006

masturbate

when a man slowly and while getting quicker rubs his penis up and down when he is horny until he ejaculates. results in extreme satisfaction.

last night i walked in on my brother masturbating. it made me horny so i stole his playboy, took off all my clothes, and started to masturbate in my room.

by AlwaysBord April 14, 2007

fasterbation

The Act of masturbating really quickly, Fasterbation.

Kyle: I'm gonna go fasterbate
Myself:....
Kyle: Fasterbation chubs.

by Adrian, haha August 28, 2009