I have to text my pig

A modern version of "I have to wash my hair" or "I have to sort my sock drawer"; an obvious excuse and serious blow off that can be employed when standing in front of the person asking you to do something you don't want to do.
Girl: So we're going to Bar 123 after this; do you want to come with us?
Guy: Aw, I would but I have to text my pig.
by KK70 July 17, 2011
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"Wow...Roy Bundy! Geez, I haven't seen that feller since the pigs ate my brother!"
by Part Walker April 15, 2008
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The first Wednesday of October, farmers around the world climb to the tops of their barns, strap wings on a pig, and throw it down onto a mattress.
Howdy, y’all! Get your porkers ready, because it’s International When Pigs Fly Day!
by TheMoosetopian November 02, 2021
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I think my pig is whistling

The German version of oh my god but for when something unbelievable happens.

Not used much in modern Germany, probably because it sounds so ridiculous
Person 1: The government has announced the existence of aliens!
Person 2: I think my pig is whistling!?!?
by Chef_Bot August 05, 2023
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kill two pigs with one bird

To accomplish two tasks with one action; an update of the phrase "kill two birds with one stone" via Angry Birds
Guy: Hon, I've got to go out to the post office.
Girl: While you're at it can you pick up the dry cleaning too ... kill two pigs with one bird?
by birdbomber January 26, 2011
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foot long pig

a southern male with an abnormally large, crinkley , wart infested penis.
person a: " Last night i got fucked by your brother."

person b" You do know he has a foot long pig, right?"

Person a:" O.O.!!!!!"
by UsaNii December 04, 2011
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