my turtles

Used as a pick-up line to refer to ones own pubic hair(s). pubs bush exotic turtle hairy

Would you like to go look at my turtles, they are pretty exotic.

by Smokey's pubs February 25, 2014

Condom Turtle

A visible erection through the condom.

I leaned over, in an attempt to hide my condom turtle.

by DashiellShatter May 30, 2023

turtle peepee

when you put just the tip in

person 1: “turtle peepee?”
person 2: “geheheggerrrrgrggr YES!”

by thelegsonthebusgostepstepstep September 03, 2021

Land turtle

Madelyn is a land turtle not a fish

Omg look at Madelyn she is a land turtle.

by May 11, 2022

Wet Turtle Cream

(verb) when a man makes a pan of delicious brownies, and immediatly upon removal from the oven, inserts his dick directly into the center of the steaming hot brownie pan then immediately sticks his erect dick into ice cream.

"Hey Greg, would you like a brownie? They are fresh and very hot."
"Sure, I'd love one...Wait, what the hell? Why is there a hole in the middle of the pan of brownies?"
"I wet Turtled them."
"Oh Fred, you scank!"
"Ginkies Greg! All I did was wet Turtled them... hey do you have any ice cream?"
"Why yes Fred we have some cookies and cream, would you like some?"
"Yes sure, bring it over I will scoop some for us."
"Ginkies Fred I can give you an ice cream scooper, why are you scooping it with your dick?"
"Um duh Greg haven't you ever heard of a wet Turtle cream? Creme de la crem dude."

by Orange Kookaburra September 03, 2022

wet turtle

When you must fart and suspect it's only gas but instead a wet blob of poop blasts into your to trousers, the poop was hard on the inside but had a shield of poo juice around it, the whole poop is yellow or green so it looks like a liquified turtle 🐢 which is rather upsetting and embarrassing...

Man in Restaurant: 'Hey babe look out imma rip a silent but violent right quick while no one's looking.'
Woman in Restaurant: 'Ok bae let er rip!'
Man in Restaurant: 'ah fuck babe now I gotta run home and change pants I blasted a wet turtle and it's messy!'

by Stankbiscuits November 21, 2021

Turtle time

The immediate need of a bathroom for the purpose of expelling a bowl movement which has already begun it's exit. Resembling a turtle head poking out. Reference Austin Powers as Fat Bastard in "the spy who shagged me"

I been needing to poop but can't wait any longer! It's Turtle time!

by Stygmatik November 28, 2019