Mostly a white, dry
pussy 30-50 year old
mother who drives a "5 star
SUV" to protect her so called "little angels" (meaning her children). With the stench of Happy Meals in her SUV, they can be found daily, picking up their children from school, the chess club, swim team, soccer practice, etc. Soccer moms are often
liberal, and bitch about everything, from violent video games to when some one burps and doesn't say "Excuse me." Soccer moms can also be found in groups, which is called an oh shit.
Soccer moms pretty much worship their local public school, by attending all PTA meetings, forcing their little children to participate in all activities, and can always be found helping out at a school dance/play/concert/etc.
They are always against a
war. No matter what the circumstance is of the
war, there is almost always an oh shit in front of the White House protesting. A
real soccer mom in this case would be wearing a shirt that claims her son died in Iraq; however, 65% of the time they don't even have a son at all, but just want attention.
Soccer moms also protest how the US doesn't care about America's youth. On some days, there would be a group of the protesters holding signs to stop DUI. Similar to the
war protest, some soccer moms wear shirts that say their daughter was hit and killed by a drunk driver. Again, she may not even have a daughter.
When at home, a soccer mom are on the phone bitching to her other soccer mom friends, saying how their husband is so mean and doesn't care about her because he works 18 hours a day. The
real reason that the husband works so much is because his wife spends his salary on a new SUV, gas
money, groceries, and sends donations to organizations such at the Salvation Army, Red Cross, and the public school fund raisers. When the husband is finally home, he isntantly gets his balls ripped off by his wife because he worked all day. Just wanting to sleep, he goes to bed and the soccer mom gets all emotional because he only cares about work. Every day, she would think of how well behaved her little angels are in school. Ironically, her "little angel" is in detention at that very moment in order to feel liberated from their
mother.
Also, soccer moms always flip shit when they see a video game in which anyone could be harmed in anyway. This means for her offspring that they cannot play games like Mario Kart, Super Mario, or even a hockey game because there are fights in it. In her eyes, this is how the ESRB rating system is:
Everyone:
ok
E10+: E13+
T: 18
M: 21
Movies are almost the same thing. They refuse to let their child watch a movie like Finding Nemo because of the fact that the
mother dies.
G:
OK!
PG: Not safe
PG-13: They should be ashamed of themselves for making such a good movie.
R: *protest*
Soccer moms also are not generally smart when it comes to being offended. For example, if they are watching a Wedding Crashers and see the part with the girls on the bed, they
will be enraged at the cast and bitch about how the movie is basically a porn movie. But instead of turning off the movie, they keep watching it anyway and get more insulted.
