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useless as a call-centre operative

Usually someone utterly, totally useless, but can be applied to inanimate objects. Lacking any empowerment, thus going so far as to be inactively obstructive.
Etymology: in the UK a number of large companies operate call-centres. When one attempts to call these to complain, the usual response from the responder (the call-centre operative) is feigned interest in the issue, involving lengthy explanations, then the final response is that they cannot authorise the issue in question as due to lack of authority. The issues can be of any magnitude. When asked to be passed to a manager, they claim the manager is unavailable and will call back (this is the inactive-obstructive part). This never occurs, so one calls again. The situation recurses.
c.f. "chocolate teapot"
I attempted to wipe my arse with some own-brand toilet paper, after wiping the paper looked clean but the disgusting skiddies in my kecks later showed it was as useless as a call-centre operative.
by monsieur_tm December 30, 2013
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useless junk

Random shit that lies around that nobody has any particular use for. Often leading to the phrase "it might come in handy". Potential sign of a closet hoarder.
Mike: Why have you got a load of monopoly pieces without a board?
John: Oh its just some useless junk. It might come in handy some day.
by imaliltpot September 19, 2015
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useless tossers

someone who isnt of any use and is a bit of an idiot.

Useless tosser
You's cant even put that lightbulb in you are all useless tossers.
by useless tosser August 23, 2016
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Useless fuckwhistle

A person who cannot comprehend or execute the simplest of tasks
"My fucking roommate was so ignorant that they opened the box of cereal from the wrong end, and I opened it from the opposite end, and it spilled all over the floor! She is such a useless fuckwhistle
by Useless Fuckwhistle June 3, 2016
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useless

Everybody uses their brain, but some people useless of it.
by wpk January 24, 2017
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useless toothpick

An insult used to call someone who is dull and very annoying
Guy 1: "dude, Bryant is a useless toothpick."
Guy 2: 'yeah he is"
by GruesomeKnight February 16, 2017
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uselessvegan

uselessvegans are 95% fake & 5% dairy products. They claim they are vegan on social media, but are in reality useless.
Wow that girl said she was vegan on Instagram but look at her stuffing her face with the milk from a cows breast . What a uselessvegan!
by Cakecrazy97 March 15, 2017
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