Citizen of Des Moines, Iowa's east side of the city. From the toxic waste rail yards to the most northeastern parts of the city, an eastsider can always be identified by their sub-human persona.
Des Moines Eastsider - Examples
Look for vehicles and attire plastered with EASTSIDER or eastsider 4 life.
Also reference numerous telltale signs of a true eastsider.
Male: Absent expression, gang-banger garb, arrogant, loud, obnoxious, always flying gang signs, numerous tatoos on arms and neck. Smell of garbage. On "celly" with baby-momma who is wanting more money usually yelling at top of their lungs. Drive POS ghetto cruisers with EASTSIDER on windscreen. Vehicle has "22's" that are worth more than total car value.
Female: Unattractive, two or more children with different fathers, overweight, on "celly" with her baby-daddy wanting more money, tatoos on arms and neck, smell of tuna, arrogant, drives busted up ghetto cruisers with eastsider plastered on the windows, kids jumping around the car whilst driving on city streets, yelling at children at stores.
All of whom frequent WalMart stores, beer gardens and county fairs with ungroomed children. Drive city streets as if they own the boulevard. Usually not found out of their own element due to low self esteem and heavy body odor.
Caution: Eastsiders should be approached with extreme caution and a bottle of Lysol. The initial shock of interacting with one will leave your IQ many points lower. Usually found working at fast food restaurants, warehouses, used car dealerships and pawn shops. An eastsider is a master of deceit. They will lie, cheat and steal anything to attempt to advance in society. Be wary of eastsiders, your life could be in harms way around them. Do not befriend once their identity is known. Destruction, sorrow and death follow in their wake.
Look for vehicles and attire plastered with EASTSIDER or eastsider 4 life.
Also reference numerous telltale signs of a true eastsider.
Male: Absent expression, gang-banger garb, arrogant, loud, obnoxious, always flying gang signs, numerous tatoos on arms and neck. Smell of garbage. On "celly" with baby-momma who is wanting more money usually yelling at top of their lungs. Drive POS ghetto cruisers with EASTSIDER on windscreen. Vehicle has "22's" that are worth more than total car value.
Female: Unattractive, two or more children with different fathers, overweight, on "celly" with her baby-daddy wanting more money, tatoos on arms and neck, smell of tuna, arrogant, drives busted up ghetto cruisers with eastsider plastered on the windows, kids jumping around the car whilst driving on city streets, yelling at children at stores.
All of whom frequent WalMart stores, beer gardens and county fairs with ungroomed children. Drive city streets as if they own the boulevard. Usually not found out of their own element due to low self esteem and heavy body odor.
Caution: Eastsiders should be approached with extreme caution and a bottle of Lysol. The initial shock of interacting with one will leave your IQ many points lower. Usually found working at fast food restaurants, warehouses, used car dealerships and pawn shops. An eastsider is a master of deceit. They will lie, cheat and steal anything to attempt to advance in society. Be wary of eastsiders, your life could be in harms way around them. Do not befriend once their identity is known. Destruction, sorrow and death follow in their wake.
by I found me one dead once January 27, 2009
Get the Des Moines Eastsider mug.by Lauren V. December 10, 2007
Get the moosestache mug.Related Words
A stupid Ass town in the middle of washington. no one likes it, but for some reason wen you leaave you wanna come back. its like a black hole. it just forces you back into it somehow with its magical powers. litteraly the only thing fun there is walmart. its where everyone hangs out. its in the middle of no where. and none of the red necks can hear your blood curdling screams of boredom. ENJOY (:
Red Neck1: hey im farming some new corn wanna see cuz thats the only fun thing to do here in moses lake is watch corn grow.
Red Neck2: Nah me and some hillbilly friends of mine are heading to walmart, and hope we dont get jumped wen we ride our tractor through this moses shit hole
Red Neck2: Nah me and some hillbilly friends of mine are heading to walmart, and hope we dont get jumped wen we ride our tractor through this moses shit hole
by Taylorterror August 14, 2009
Get the Moses Lake mug.When reciving a blumpie, after delivering the topeka destroyer, blumpee puts a finger in the ass of blumper(thus completing the hat trick where blumper has a mouthfull of cock, a nosefull of shit, a back covered in vomit and a assfull of thumb).
I believe that I am ready for the German Porn Olympics because I have pulled off a Des Moines Surprise,
by decay 66 April 9, 2003
Get the Des Moines Surprise mug.Des Moines, Iowa: referring to the fact that there's not many things to do in dsm... except for, of course, when it's caucus time.
A place that may not be the smallest city, but it doesn't stop you from eventually realizing that through just a few friends, you are connected to just about EVERYONE in Iowa.
A place that may not be the smallest city, but it doesn't stop you from eventually realizing that through just a few friends, you are connected to just about EVERYONE in Iowa.
by Emi Vilks January 17, 2008
Get the dead moines mug.When a man and a woman have sex whilst the woman is on her period and the menstruation is split into two streams over the mans penis, like moses with the red sea.
"Man, i slept with shelly last night, cept she was on and i totally did a moses over my dick"
"I just split Jenny's red sea with my little moses"
"I just split Jenny's red sea with my little moses"
by teeebs September 15, 2009
Get the Moses mug.A semi-feminin guys who loves to have a great time loves to twerk, and dance he’s extremely fit with a amazing six pack he can also be the life of the party he’s also amazing in bed so if you get him in bed just know he’ll have you screaming he’ll part that ass like he parted the red sea in the bible
by anynomous2023 September 29, 2021
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