Someone with a justified and well-founded fear of homophones.
Homophones are those words which
sound the same but
mean something completely different, so that no one has any idea which
witch is which. They're harmful. They're subversive. They have no place in our good, respectable community.
I lost a good buddy at the hands of those evil homophones. They mistakenly got into a vehicle with a reckless driver instead of a wreckless driver. They sound the same but the meaning of the words is completely opposite.
That's why I and my
redneck, homophobe buddies are going to clean up this community and run all of the homophones out of town. YEE-HAW! I'm gonna put some more notches in my commie ridder!
After all, the consequences of not knowing whether that "fanny pack" or "bum
bag" is a "waist
bag" or a "waste
bag" get really messy and disgusting. We're not having that in this corn patch, no siree
Bob.