Bidet

Giving yourself a bidet

When you poop and the toilet water splashes up at your butthole

Guy 1: I just gave myself a bidet!
Guy 2: you must’ve had a huge poop!

by boboobobobob December 6, 2019

Quebec Bidet

When you gracefully leave an upper decker, then use the bowl water to clean yourself afterwards.

Fuck bud, so I was at the corner store and buddy had no shit tickets, so I had to leave an upper decker and use the quebec bidet.

by HighstrikeGTR October 18, 2020

Scotch Bidet

The art of washing ones rectum with the shower head after dropping the kids off at the pool.1

There was no toilet paper left in the shop so I've had to resort to using the Scotch Bidet

by Bigcid March 21, 2020

Swedish Bidet

A swedish bedit is when the sewers overflow with such force that whomever is sitting on the toilet get a stream of sewer water up their behind. This is of course a refrence too the swedish immegration situation.

My brother got too experience a swedish Bidet when my dad opened up the sewer connection.

by Haldoe November 15, 2023

Chocolate bidet

When Rhett and link became a chocolate fountain, and the liquid chocolate went up links ass, then Rhett proceeded to get down on his knees and open his mouth for links gooey goodness

“It’s like a bidet that does exactly the opposite of what it should do, which is called a badonk or a chocolate bidet”

by Yung_sexc_muthafuka December 30, 2021

Hillbilly Bidet

Sometimes when you take a crap at home, you realize one of two things; 1: there is no toilet paper to be found and no one to get it for you or 2: your crap was so disgusting that toilet paper will be no match for it at all. A "Hillbilly Bidet" is when you forsake the use of toilet paper altogether, get up off the toilet and proceed straight to the shower to clean yourself off.

Dude, I got such ridiculous food poisoning that I didn't even attempt to wipe...just went straight to the shower for a hillbilly bidet.

by Poop Geyser June 28, 2011

american bidet

Getting a dog to lick ones butthole after going number two.

My colleague Josh trained his labrador to give him an American bidet--- god damn, you should see how happy the dog is afterwards.

by Khalfani Lisimba April 19, 2018