malevision

a guy's inability to locate an item in the frig or pantry when it is right in front of him. and he then tells his significant other or friend, "we must be out of ketchup" and then she has to stop whatever it is she is doing and grap the item from the frig and hand it over.

Dude! you so have malevision...if the ketchup bottle had teeth, it would have bitten your hand off!"

by patty browning January 23, 2008

Melvin

A boy who's hiding behind a cloud of weed and nicotine while he makes inaudible plagiarized beats on his computer and looks up ailments he can fake for attention in his dark room. His potential could take him anywhere if he would just be honest with himself and get serious.

BF: My throat hurts.
GF: I'm sure it's just a cold.
BF: I think I have Chlamydia of the throat!
GF: Don't overreact! You're such a Melvin!

by Planetka243 February 13, 2019

Melvin

Clown kid that doesn’t realize how stupid he is and always touches girls and makes them uncomfortable

Yo did you see Melvin over there

Yes that Retard is doing Fortnite dances and raping a five year old again

by Shehdhdbdodo February 25, 2019

the flaming melvin

the flaming melvin; aka; the tabasco hotdog, the burning enchilada, etc. the act of dipping a dildo in pure pool chlorine, causing a severe burning sensation, as the person the dildo is inserted into will have the immediate flesh eaten away by the chlorine. best for: masochists.

i gave my girlfriend the flaming melvin last night.

by swimmerboy January 17, 2008

Melvin Crotchnick

A half man half woman who has lots of freckles and was invented by the wonderful geniuses, Sami and Alison. It pretty much means, a nerd.

Hah, look at that Melvin Crotchnick. I bet he has no friends at school.

"Eww, get away from me, you Melvin!"

by Alison March 6, 2005

melvin

an extremely uncool and annoying person. one of those kids at school (every school has at least a few) who wears an old army jacket with various band and/or rebellious patches crudely sewn onto it. they often listed to some sort of alternative rock or metal (all of which sounds like shit). they also talk about really weird and pointless subject matter and will occasionally ask for your opinion on such matters.

a melvin is compared to the young version of an anarchist vietnam vet

by rustyshackelford October 31, 2007

A Melvin

An underwhelming male orgasm. If ejaculate is present, it dribbles feebly and apologetically out.

Did you just jizz your pants? Yes, but it was only a Melvin.
After wank number 5 that day, he realised was no longer enjoying himself, as his overworked phallus begrudgingly performed a Melvin.

by Invasive Protusion May 13, 2016