absolute

100% pure alcohol. Alcohol can only be distilled to 95% ethanol, 5% water; so a drying agent must be used to get it 100% pure. This product is illegal and can only be obtained through scientific laboratories. Cannot be consumed pure as it will burn the throat, but great for spiking punches as it is flavorless.

The mad scientist used absolute to spike the punch at the symposium and all the researches got unexpectedly trashed.

by restless G November 6, 2006

Absolute Madman

A man or woman who does something completely barbaric and walks it off like a fucking badass. They are mad because this is America in 2018, of fucking course, who the hell wouldn't be mad.

"He's an absolute madman! A fucking madman, he puts mayo on his hot dog!"
"Oh, shit, it's him, I heard he pulled the most barbaric move and sucked a dick for bus fare. Then after that, he walked."

by Rootin Tootin Pootin January 31, 2018

absolutely fucked

When you're in a bad situation where you'll most likely fail or get the negative result.

A great example is when you're near the finish line in Mario Kart while being a tight race and someone uses the blue shell.

"The project's due tomorrow?! Man I am absolutely fucked!"

by A Saturated Meatball November 20, 2016

Absolute Croissant

A less harsh way of insulting someone by using food as cover to your overly attached persona to swear words.

Person 1: "I think the moon landing was faked"
You: "Please shut your face, you absolute croissant"

by Don'tknowwhatyou'retalkingbout May 22, 2016

Absolute spice

A good looking lass/a fit lass

That lass looks absolute spice

by Absolute spice January 5, 2018

AbsoluteCUCKERY

When you witness a DENSE-ASS guy, miss all the "Hints" from a chick who is clearly into him.

Jamie: Yo, dude i saw Michelle talking to Andrew about coming over to have "fun" at her place, late at night
Frank: What did Andrew say about that?
Jamie: Dude, he said he would rather sleep at night then have fun
Frank: WOWWWW, now that's AbsoluteCUCKERY

by LiquongDaemingSwing March 14, 2018

absolute ape

Some on who acts like a retard and try a to be funny but makes retarded jokes. Most people that are absolute apes are Daniel Bailey, and people like him

Absolute ape is a person who is retarded

by JimmyJohmsSubs June 27, 2018