Toasted Almonds

When a guy farts really bad while sitting on a vinyl cafe booth and the gas escapes to the front of his crotch.

Holy crap man, I just toasted almonds!

by Lothar December 14, 2017

I almost shed a tear.

Boo hoo mothefucker. Pull yourself together.

You cycled all the way across europe and you’re tired? Well, I almost shed a tear.

by Yung’Un August 11, 2019

Happy almost birthday

Happy birthday in advance.

Yo your birthday is coming up. Happy almost birthday!

by user since 2002 September 23, 2020

john alfonso

A very funny, caring and sweet kind of guy. He can make you laugh even in your saddest day.

Though they have a tough outer self they can be the most caring and affectionate person that you've ever met.

They have the biggest and genuine heart. <3

You are such a John Alfonso.

by Unknownimous* June 7, 2021

The almonds aren’t going to milk themselves

A funny thing to reply with (because almonds don’t lactate) when somebody asks, “What are you doing up so early?”.

Kyle: What are you doing up so early?

Rob: The almonds aren’t going to milk themselves.

And then everyone claps 👏

by 1234Life July 4, 2022

Hershey Milk Chocolate with Whole Almonds

A long rectangular piece of chocolate produced to hold only three almonds and waste your time!

Wow! This Hershey Milk Chocolate with whole almonds tastes like literal dog butt!

by HersheyMilkChocolateAlmonds December 27, 2021

Almond cookie simp

best people in the world! people that simp for a cookie run kingdom character known as "almond cookie"!!!

"im an almond cookie simp!"

"cool! me too!"

by muffinq October 11, 2021