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Premium wank

When you finger your arsehole whilst wanking, creating double the pleasure
Oh Ewan, I had a great premium wank the other day, it felt so nice
by Harry eade December 26, 2021
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Wank Jam

The inevitable product of a 5 knuckle shuffle.

Delicious jam or preservative made with the bi-product of spanking the monkey
"Stroked the salami last night and got wank jam everywhere"

"Do we have anything to put on toast?"
"Just a bit of wank jam left in the cupboard."

"Spilled so much wank jam In my gfs mouth she went full angry on me!"
by Kik455 April 8, 2022
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Back handed scuttle wank

When I masturbate I like to turn my hand around and have a back handed scuttle wank.
by Filth monger. April 15, 2022
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wank cycles

When you tactically bat one out so that you'll last longer should you be lucky enough to get some action later on.
Joshephina: Wow, honey! You lasted much longer than your standard 45 seconds tonight.

Esteban: Yes, dear. I got my wank cycles right today in the hope of having prolonged sexual intercourse with you this evening. Thanks for noticing. Two minutes is a new record.
by Handsome_Cat April 19, 2022
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wank cycles

When you tactically bat one out so that you'll last longer should you be lucky enough to get some action later on.
Josephina: Wow, honey! You lasted much longer than your standard 45 seconds tonight.

Esteban: Yes, dear. I got my wank cycles right today in the hope of having prolonged sexual intercourse with you this evening. Thanks for noticing. Two minutes is a new record.
by Handsome_Cat April 19, 2022
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an ultimate cunt who should be liquidised into thalidomide wank oil and festering decomposed spunk
((wank spanners basatoradorial fuck custard) a third dan black belt shit house and fuck custard who should be stir fried in hot synthetic Kentucky fried dog shit after being arse fucked by a bisexual octopus, while his balls are steamed cleaned in hot camels piss. a), a mark five cunt with power steering and overdrive.
by bucket crutch 2 April 20, 2022
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Climate Wanking

When politicians or the elite complain about climate change and how the world is coming to an end, and essentially use it to get votes from people who care or as a crutch for NOT talking about actual problems the world faces.
Keith: Dude, I have been so busy, I have not read anything about the latest G20 Summit, have you been following?

Mike: Ya, it is the same Climate Wanking all the time. I wish they would talk about China running the world economy, or how to get people back to work.

Keith: Ugh, Climate Wanking, such a waste of time. No wonder everyone hates these politicians and condescending celebrities. Talk about real world stuff, bruh.
by Mike109999 November 2, 2021
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