Whitstonian Wank

The shameful act of standing on Whitstable harbour, giving yourself a reach around to erect the old rogering tool then dunking your corey in some curry sauce and then scream seagull noises so the birds fly down and peck your little pecker off (you get 1 point for every person who looks, 2 points for spastics and 3 points for the feds)

Roger done too many Gary’s last night and tanged a ‘Whitstonian Wank’ in front of like 20 kids last night, he got nicked for animal cruelty and indecent exposure to underage kids.

by Z Noodle April 6, 2021

hoover wank

When Gareth gets a new hoover and because he hasn’t got a woman he uses the hoover to pleasure himself

Gareth was getting excited looking at the new hoover as he anticipated a hoover wank later

by Jessdirty April 20, 2021

Flag Wanking

Someone whomst is a Member of the British Conservative party who wants everyone to pledge allegiance to the flag of the UK.

Boris Johnson enjoyed **Flag Wanking** in parilament today.

by Oure April 21, 2021

Big Telly Wank

The act of cranking one out involving the use of the largest screen in the house (usually the TV in the living room) to watch pornography.

I'm sick of squinting at my phone screen in the toilet while the missus is home. I've got the house to myself tonight so I'm going to crack open a can, get pornhub up on the 60" in the living room and have a nice big telly wank.

by sproates April 29, 2021

fat wank

the urge to release thy juice from the beast

john: how was your day
me: not good i need a fat wank

by hbdsuhfbu May 6, 2021

nostalgia wank

wallowing in nostalgia

person 1: I spent the last night listening to old playlists...
person 2: stop the nostalgia wanking already

by Vprofessional May 11, 2021

Climate Wanking

When politicians or the elite complain about climate change and how the world is coming to an end, and essentially use it to get votes from people who care or as a crutch for NOT talking about actual problems the world faces.

Keith: Dude, I have been so busy, I have not read anything about the latest G20 Summit, have you been following?

Mike: Ya, it is the same Climate Wanking all the time. I wish they would talk about China running the world economy, or how to get people back to work.

Keith: Ugh, Climate Wanking, such a waste of time. No wonder everyone hates these politicians and condescending celebrities. Talk about real world stuff, bruh.

by Mike109999 November 2, 2021